Written by Aspartame Boy

Saturday, 18 October 2008

image for Toxic Securities Futures Rebound
Toxic Securites Fuel Metropolis

Chicago, IL - UPDATE 1 - High demand for toxic securities and commercial paper are fueling a sharp spike in toxic securities futures.

No, we don't mean toxic like aspartame, these are toxic in the financial sense.. bad for your portfoilio, not bad for your prognosis.

The Metropolis Flash, Flame and Flicker Electric company is now utilizing these toxic assets, mixing them in a ratio of 3 to 2, paper to coal.

Not only are the people of Metropolis thrilled, but Secretary Paulson is ecstatic. However, when briefed on the situation, Chairman Bernake of the United States Federal Reserve cautioned against irrational exuberance, and contacted his Bubble Attack Team (BAT) to closely monitor the situation.

At one Amero per ton, the securities reduce the cost of power for the utility to levels not seen since Great Depression, of which Chairman Bernake is the premier student.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
65 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more