Recently criticized for his mishandling of the financial crisis facing America, Senator Chris Dodd suggested Americans "take themselves back to a simpler time when they bought things they couldn't pay for and blamed George Bush for everything."
The senator said there was little to compare with the joy of the "fool's paradise that encouraged a convenience store clerk to live out the American dream in a $600,000 house, and then subsequently a homeless shelter" and thought Americans should embrace that soaring, intoxicating and ultimately devastating aspiration again as quickly as possible, at least in spirit. "There may be some other moronic fantasy we can cling to. Let's find it!"
The claymation faced senator defended his recent actions that helped precipitate the mortgage crisis by stating that he has tirelessly seeked out explanations from everyone involved but himself, and hopes that he can uncover everyone else accountable for the debacle. "I am confident that I can turn up who can be held accountable besides me for this problem, and I will not rest until I can ignore every involvement I have had in this mess."
The senator added that someone besides him needs to step forward and accept responsibility. He promised the American people that "The buck stops with someone who isn't me. I will find that other person."
