Yardie Army?
As everyone knows, a significant number of British Army troops have been killed or injured in Iraq and Afghanistan which has left the army somewhat depleted. MOD sources confirmed that the British Army is considering a recruitment drive in J...
Read full storyShreddies Sales Plummet After Nana's Adverts
Popular crunchy breakfast cereal Shreddies sales have plummeted since the new adverts featuring grannies knitting them appeared on British TV's.
Read full storyHeath Ledger To Get Posthumous Award
Popular Batman actor Heath Ledger will get a posthumous award at a coveted movie awards ceremony later this month, Hollywood executives have confirmed.
Read full storyRevolting Nigel
A resident of Chipping Sodbury is mounting a one-man campaign against his local Odeon cinema in protest at the continued 'Knock Off Nigel' campaign being run in cinemas across the country.
Read full storyThe New Yorker Magazine cancels next week's satirical cover: Manchurian Candidate McCain
New York, New York - Drawing an enormous amount of political flack for their last satire: Barack dressed in tradition African chieftain. Mrs. Obama dressed as a 1960s Black Power militant carrying a machine-gun and sporting an Afro from the same era.
Read full storyPope warns against spiritual dessert
Australia - (Holy Ass Mess): The Pope has issued dire warnings about the dangers of soul food.
Read full storySpectator plays key part in Harrington Open victory
Padraig Harrington clinched the British Golf Open in dramatic form on Sunday yet failed to thank the spectator who played a major role in the victory.
Read full storyHillary proposes Baby Bond
In a bold move to cement her hold on the Democratic Presidential front running position she commands over her rivals, Senator Hillary Clinton today proposed a $5000 government bond to be given to each child born in the United States. The bond can l...
Read full storyCheese Puffs targeted in new Political Correctness storm
The popular kiddies' packaged snack, Cheesey Puffs, have today come under attack from the Politically Correct brigade.
Read full storyHillary Quits...becomes Atlantic Beach, SC Mayor!
In a block buster political deal master minded by DNC dictator, Howard Dean, Hillary Clinton has stepped down from the presidential election and agreed to be the new mayor of Atlantic Beach. Citing her courage under fire in Bosnia, Mayor Clinton says...
Read full storyNine Iran Criminals To Face Death By Small Stones
In Iran nine criminals have been sentenced to death by stoning but the Iran government has said they will use smaller stones this time because USA and European leaders say "the punishment is barbarism".
Read full storyMyrtle Beach, Atlantic Beach and the Clinton Mystique
Myrtle Beach residents are reeling with the rumor that former AB Mayor Hillary Clinton is making a move on former MB City Council Liz Gilland's seat.
Read full storyTroubled Atlantic Beach, SC saved by Clintons!
Declaring victory, Hillary Clinton stepped down as Mayor of Atlantic Beach today, after orchestrating a massive bailout of the financially strapped beach front community.
Read full storyVictoria Pendleton To Ride In Olympics In Her Birthday Suit
Victoria Pendleton, the world, British and Commonwealth cycling sprint champion, has said that she intends to compete in this summer's Beijing Olympic cycling events in the nude, apart from her helmet.
Read full storyDiet Ice Cubes Very Popular
Springfield PA-- The latest diet craze, diet ice cubes, is a big seller at the Poke N Toke Grocery Store in Springfield. The tiny ice cubes cost $10.00 for a dozen and the store sells thousands a day. The ice cubes have zero calories and no cholester...
Read full storyWhitey Bolger FOUND on Cape Cod!
The FBI confirmed today a recent video taken in Italy really IS Whitey Bulger, the long missing Boston mobster with ties to the state house AND The White House and that he's been living on the Cape and been on the State payroll since 1991! Whit...
Read full storySouth Carolina Ponzi Scheme linked to Clintons
Federal Campaign Investigators announced today they are looking into criminal links between Hebrew Boys, LLC, Democratic fundraiser and convicted felon Norman Hsu, and the Clinton Campaign Fund. Also involved is the SEC who insiders say, have an...
Read full storyMushy Peas - A View from the Colonies
FROM: MORSE Special Agent, 525 MI Group, RVN, United Sates Army (ret)...
Read full storyMaddie cop's 'explosive revelations' memoir bombs
Praia da Illuzion, Algarve - (Ass Mess): The 10,000 word 'explosive revelations' memoir of a former Portuguese cop investigating Maddie McCann's disappearance is set to bomb.
Read full storyClinton Addresses Spitzer Scandal
Former President Bill Clinton says he is completely perplexed over today's allegations that NY Democratic Governor Elliot Spitzer has been caught in a FBI wiretap sting involving high priced call girls in the Nation's capitol. "I've never paid fo...
Read full storyA-Rod Gone!
In a deal completed late today, JP Morgan announced it has traded Bear Stearns, the investment banking switch hitter, recently named in the Wall Street mortgage steroid scandal, to the New York Yankees for Alex Rodriquez who unlike several Bear Ste...
Read full storyAnother Chinese Recall - Democratic Campaign Money
In another extraordinary example of Clinton financial acumen, $850,000 of miraculous appearing campaign funds may soon be wending its way back to China, but not without a fight if Senator Hillary Clinton has her way. The money appeared magically a...
Read full storyFrog Mania Hits International Banking
Paris/AP - The international banking sector was shaken today with the announcement of a major fraud within France's premier bank, Societe Generale. Financial investigators said over 5 billion Euros ($7.2 B) were lost in a trading scheme perpetra...
Read full storyCanada Supports Torture and 'Kangaroo Court' Prosecution of Canadian Children by US Military
OTTAWA (FMLiveWire) - Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has strongly voiced his support of the torture and prosecution of Canadian children at Guantanamo Bay by the US military.
Read full storyAmerica Attacked By Satire Today
The United States of America was hit by a massive attack of satire today, in a move that shocked the civilised world.
Read full storyShoplifters say British economy IS as bad as it gets
According to the NAS - the National Association of Shoplifters - there is no noticeable slowdown in the rate of the decline in the British economy.
Read full storyJames Callaghan Returns From Dead To Congratulate Gordon Brown
Gordon Brown today told us that an apparition of former British Labour Prime Minister, James Callaghan, apparently appeared in his bedroom last night, like some sort of Wuthering Heights Heathcliff ghost coming back from the moor.
Read full storyMan Shot Whilst Flossing Teeth
A Texas man is today fighting for his life after being shot by his best friend whilst flossing his teeth.
Read full storyWriters Have last Laugh At Disney's Expense
The writers who took part in last years strike appear to have had the last laugh judging by Disney's latest offering 'Wall-E'.
Read full storyGordon Brown Shits Himself
It was revealed last night that Prime Minister Gordon Brown recently soiled his pants at Prime Minister's Question Time. This is the first recorded incident of any PM having trouser problems himself since the famous Disraeli piss stain incident d...
Read full storyPrince Edward's Oxo Shame
The royal family was thrown into turmoil last night when it was revealed that Prince Edward, Earl of Essex had admitted to have 'used Oxo' during his teenage years.
Read full storyJesus Now Bigger Than The Beatles
In a press conference yesterday, the Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Beardboy claimed that 'Jesus is now bigger than the Beatles'.
Read full storyPamela Anderson Banned From Algeria
Pamela Anderson the celebrity has been banned from visiting Algeria after lots of the people complained that her breasts are too big to visit an Islamic state. Miss Anderson wanted to spend her holidays at the seaside resort of Zeralda but many to...
Read full storyTrue cause of global warming discovered
Following claims by leader of the Conservative party, David Cameron, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has been forced to reveal the true cause of the phenomenon commonly known as global warming.
Read full storyNational Rifle Association Defends Right to Bear Arms for Child Soldiers!
The US of A's National Rifle Association ordered the Bush administration to boycott an United nations conference to prevent the spread of illicit small arms around the globe.
Read full storyMcCain Consort, Marie Antoinette Gramm: Let The Whiners Eat Cake!
Multi Millionaire Phil Gramm, close associate and economic advisor to multi millionaire Cindy McCain's husband, Johnny had a simple answer when he was told that the people of America have no bread. Gramm replied: "Then, let them eat cake!&qu...
Read full story"Today Show" hires Karl Rove as its new travel correspondent for the "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" segment
New York, New York - Karl Rove will be replacing Matt Lauer but only for the "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" segment of the show. Lauer has a young family and the globetrotting has put them under stress. So, it all works out for everybo...
Read full storyFrench Dress Code Supplants Liberte', Egalite' and Fraternite'
Still in the shadow of Bastille Day, France has decided that the liberty, equality and Fraternity of their great revolution will be replaced by a dress code. From now on no one can become a French citizen unless he/she conforms to official French app...
Read full storyBush Pays Forward Pardons for Himself and His Fellow War Criminals!
The "couldn't be too soon" departing Bush administration is being inundated with felonious requests for pardons from every low life and high life in the US penal system.
Read full storyBush Supports "Lost Horizon" for US Troop Withdrawal
Resistant as ever, even when W wants to agree he just can't bring himself to do it. Many sensible experts from around the world and within the US military have urged time lines for the withdrawal of troops and the empowering of the Iraqi governme...
Read full storyDeaf Shrimper Gives Obama His Boat
Grand Isle, Louisiania - Shrimper Armand Lecavalier donated his 40 foot shrimp boat to the Obama campaign last week making it the tenth boat in a week the Obama campaign has received.
Read full story"Bitter Pennsylvanians" to Secede, Form "One Nation Under God"
(Gettysburg, PA) -- A groundswelling majority of Pennsylvanians, incensed by Obama's accusation that Keystone Staters ignorantly "cling to guns or religion", is forming its own nation, The Republic of Pennsylvania, One Nation Under...
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