In a block buster political deal master minded by DNC dictator, Howard Dean, Hillary Clinton has stepped down from the presidential election and agreed to be the new mayor of Atlantic Beach. Citing her courage under fire in Bosnia, Mayor Clinton says this is the right move for her and the democratic party at this time.
Atlantic Beach, the troubled 4 block city with 400 residents has been hanging on by their toe nails as the current Mayor, the contested New Mayor, various officials of the town,and most of its citizens have been indicted, arrested, or are currently serving jail time, while the state of SC tries to find out where all the Democratic earmarks went.
With the Clinton campaign war chest seriously depleted, the new Mayor achieved her post rather inexpensively. Recent allegations of the since deposed current Mayor, indicated that buying votes in the city averaged $5.25 apiece , for a total expense of under $2200, $400 less than two John Edwards' haircuts when he was on the road.
Reporters were able to verify this time, that Mayor Clinton arrived in the city last night around 1:30 am, and during a tour of Main Street her motorcade did come under heavy 9mm pistol and assault weapon attack when they blundered into a drug deal gone bad on Ocean Avenue between drug dealers and the remaining 5 members of the police force who hadn't had a pay check in four weeks.
Security officials stressed that at no time was the mayor in danger. Secret Service Agent HU Knu said that the Mayor at first was confused as she had never heard rifle fire in her life, including her brief tours in Viet Nam as a combat nurse, in Bosnia as a combat news photographer, or in Ireland where she served as a double agent who had penetrated the IRA for Mossad the Israeli intelligence agency. Knu said that the Mayor's husband, the former President of the US, alertly pushed her down until she was covering his body completely, selflessly offering him total protection.
"It was an heroic act," he said," showing that she is worthy to be my wife, and mayor of this great city!" The mayor's bodyguard and driver confirmed the action. "She definitely had her head in his lap ," he said...."it was a very brave act on her part."
In another sign of Democratic party unity, Mayor Clinton said that Barrack Obama , his wife Michelle, and his white grandmother would be on the podium to welcome in "Black Bike Week" a traditional event that brings in over 350,000 brothers from the midwest and up and down the east coast. The mayor said that she and Michelle will be "shakin' their booty" on stage to encourage Democratic unity while husband Bill" works the crowd."