Frog Mania Hits International Banking

Funny story written by Morse

Sunday, 20 July 2008

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Paris/AP - The international banking sector was shaken today with the announcement of a major fraud within France's premier bank, Societe Generale.

Financial investigators said over 5 billion Euros ($7.2 B) were lost in a trading scheme perpetrated by a 31 year old intern on loan from the Clinton reelection committee. Jerome Kerviel, a post graduate international banking student from the University of Arkansas, and a volunteer at the Clinton Presidential Library, had been working at the bank as a favor to former President Clinton from President Sarkozy, informed sources said.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy, recently elected, and recently divorced , is now dating a former model who had been linked to President Clinton by tabloids last year. President Sarkozy denied the link, and said he and the former President were good international friends, and it was a coincidence they just happened to have a lot in common.

Kerviel apparently perpetrated his massive stock manipulations in the off hours at the bank. Most French workers manage only a 16 hour work week, and it was while they were off on holiday that the huge stock transactions took place. Computer pass words and firewalls were easily by passed as bank managers routinely wrote them down on their calendars, and in one case in the stall of the executive restroom.

Cynical investigators likened security at the French bank to the Maginot Line, a major failure leading to their defeat in the early days of WWII. "It's the same old story," one senior investigator said," they put their thinking into a static frontal security system, and then let the enemy in the back door."

Kerviel claims he did not trade for his personal gain, but initial audits seem to indicate otherwise. "We have indications that he was in close personal contact with Norman Hsu until Hsu was recently arrested in the States," an informed spokesman said. " We are also checking on $2.2 million in personal money orders made out to Hsu and cashed in the Little Rock , Arkansas post office." Hsu was recently arrested on a nine year fugitive warrant from California while the entire time he was on the lam he was an active Democratic Campaign contributor and organizer. Hsu has said he expects to be pardoned late in 2008 by President Hillary Clinton, and remains free on bond until after the upcoming elections.

Meanwhile Societe Generale, while claiming they are still very financially stable, recently entered into transactions to dispose of 5.5 billion Euros (($8B) in equities, including their major stake in the Escargot industry.

One English banker was quoted as saying "Bloody Hell, man, that's a lot of snails for even a frog to digest!" when he heard of the bank bail out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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