Declaring victory, Hillary Clinton stepped down as Mayor of Atlantic Beach today, after orchestrating a massive bailout of the financially strapped beach front community.
In just 2 short weeks since dropping out from her presidential campaign to run and win the AB mayoral office, her staff claims she has pulled off another miracle in saving the bankrupt town of Atlantic Beach, home to over 400 souls who have never had a stable government or financial peace of mind. Supporters are calling it another Clinton Immaculate Financial Conception, and as a new beginning for Atlantic Beach.
Clinton held a press conference at The Crazy Horse restaurant and night club early this morning to announce the sale of Atlantic Beach to Dubai, one of the 7 Arab Emirates. The exact amount of the sale has not been announced due to several legal contingencies, however, it has been reported that the Clintons will retain 10% of the town in addition to receiving a very lucrative finder's fee for brokering the deal.
Dubai, one of the 7 emirates created in 1971, has a 37 billion dollar economy and 1.2million residents , employs over 250,000 diverse foreign workers. The emirate has been ruled since 1833 by the Maktoum family, and former President Bill Clinton has been a well paid speaker and consultant to defense minister Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum since 2005 having accepted over $600,000 for 2 political speeches involving Israel, and many millions of dollars for the Clinton Library from the emirate as well as from the royal Saudi Family, Kuwait, and Qatar. The emirate also imports over 1.4 billion in US products per year.
A spokesman for Sheik Maktoum unveiled some preliminary plans for the future image of the New Atlantic Beach. In addition to razing the city, beach dredging will provide a series of finger islands off the SC coast to be made available for both high rise condos and multi million dollar home sites. In addition, Dubai has contracted the same international company that built the tunnel under the English Channel, to tunnel 3 miles off shore to another proposed man made island which will house the east coast's largest gambling casino. The center for the new down town will feature an 83,000 square foot Mosque facing east, and prayer bells will be heard calling to worship from Little River to Georgetown.
All of the town's 400 residents who wish, will emigrate to Dubai to join the country's foreign workforce and are guaranteed lucrative jobs , 401ks , healthcare, graduate studies, and a 3 bedroom pool house with 4 car garage complete with cars of their choice. Those that choose not to go will be allowed to stay in the US and be appointed Super Delegates in the upcoming Democratic primary show down.
Mayor Clinton also stated that all indicted town officials, unpaid police officers, incarcerated residents, and non-resident illegal aliens have been granted amnesty, but are not included in the Dubai transfer offer. They are, however, urged to vote in the upcoming North Carolina primary, and one way transportation will be provided along with $15.00 meal money. Clinton denied Fox New Reports that either she or her husband are eyeing the governorship of New York State.
