In another extraordinary example of Clinton financial acumen, $850,000 of miraculous appearing campaign funds may soon be wending its way back to China, but not without a fight if Senator Hillary Clinton has her way.
The money appeared magically after a small investment in a Chinese Buffet fund raiser in San Francisco. Sources in the know indicated that the fundraiser cost about $750 to produce, and the return was inline with other Clinton investments, about 1,133%, made over the years. Democratic Rainmaker, Norman Hsu, until recently a 1991 convicted felon on the run and hiding in plain sight as a Democratic Fundraiser, took credit for steering the Senator, and Presidential hopeful, to the windfall. He was unavailable for comment and is currently being held by the FBI in an undisclosed location recovering from amnesia and reading Vince Foster's biography in hopes he regains his political memory.
The Senator shrugged off the apparent widening scandal,"Money is like Chinese Food....as soon as you consume it you find you're still hungry for more...and when you're hungry you don't really care where your next meal comes from."
The Clintons, known for their voracious appetites and" in your face" recklessness, appear to have no shame or regard for their constituents, whether it be in the matter of unprotected sex with a Cuban cigar, or beyond belief financial windfalls.
Bowing to public pressure, Ms Clinton said she would return the money to the original donor. Sources say he Mr. Hsu doesn't remember giving it to her, at least at this time.
The FBI says the money was part of a scheme to collect $2300 from a variety of donors in order to meet campaign laws, but they in turn would be reimbursed by a "bundler"who then passed the money on to the Democratic hopefuls. Many remember the term "bundler" from the Senator's husband during his two terms in the White House where he attempted to "bundle" with anything he could get his hands on.
The Senator directed all further questions about the funds to her newly appointed Asian Fund Raising Liasion, Mr. Hu Nu. Hu Nu said it may take awhile before they could find all the phantom donors in order to return the money. "If we do find them", he said, "nothing in the law prevents them from re donating the money to the Senator's campaign." Hu Nu.
