Hatchet faced Russian Premier Voldermort Putitin and visiting US Secretary of State Cumulonimbus Rice have agreed to tone down the rhetoric in public exchanges due to everyone on the planet wondering if we are soon to be eviscerated in a flaming hellish fireball of nuclear Armageddon.
Russia's Minister of Xenophobia, Sirgay Lavalamp, said the two sides had resolved to focus on concrete issues and to stop scaring the shit out of everyone. "If you are all going to die" said the Russian Minister "you will not know about it until it is far too late to worry about. It could be years from now or it could be next week, relax!"
The high-level talks in Moscow are the first since Mr Putitin accused the US of putting Yankee bang sticks where they might pop in his direction.
The two sides are divided over several issues, including which country is the more spiritually vacuous, who makes the best Borsht and to a lesser degree, US plans to deploy a missile defence shield in Europe.
The clock is STILL ticking!
