Shrink Says Paris Hilton too Traumatized to Go to Jail

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

image for Shrink Says Paris Hilton too Traumatized to Go to Jail
Paris Hilton distraught and traumatized

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Los Angeles - San Jose Mercury News reported that "Paris Hilton is "emotionally distraught and traumatized" over her 45-day jail sentence and is not capable of testifying in a civil suit against her."

"Having become accustomed to life at the top with more money than Bill Gates, she shouldn't be expected to be subject to the law like normal people," her lawyer said. "You just can't treat the rich like you would some regular person."

Hilton does not understand why she is being persecuted for breaking her probation, said Dr. Charles Sophy, her psychiatrist. He said that Hilton is "distraught and traumatized as a consequence of the findings at the May 4 hearing ... and her fear of incarceration."

"Don't they know that they are supposed to treat rich people better than that? I'm not just a stupid regular person. I have money! Why me? Why are they persecuting me? All I did is break probation," said Hilton.

Dr. Charles Sophy has appealed the judges findings saying that a 45 day sentence would be far to harsh for a woman of Hilton's caliber.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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