Big Brother Style Contest for 2009 UK Elections

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Saturday, 2 June 2007


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British MP's were left reeling today after Tony Blair, current Prime Minister of the UK, announced major shake ups were on their way for the forthcoming elections.

The usual campaigning and touring of the country to establish voters has been SCRAPPED, with a more modern, Media friendly system to be adopted.

Candidates will now have to compete in several rounds of modern culture based activities. For example, round one will see various independent councillors up and down the country engage in a "Rap Battle" at the town hall of their constituency, with the victor of the round decided upon by an "expert" panel of ex- Big Brother contestants. The winner of round one will be awarded 10 points.

In the second round, Blair announced yesterday, female party members from Labour, Conservative and The Liberal Democrats will have to "out babe each other", by engaging in several X-Rated strip teases and/or pole dances.

Margaret Beckett, speaking on behalf of the other Blair Babes said "We Can't Wait, we really hope we can sex up the party, and earnus another victory".

Round 2 will be voted upon by the editors of Men's Magazines "Nuts" and "Zoo".

The final round will be a battle between Gordon Brown and David Cameron, and although events manager Blair is keeping quiet, sources tell us that Naked Mud Wrestling will be involved.

Although no judges for round 3 have yet been signed, music mogul Simon Cowell, and camp comic Graham Norton are both tipped to get the position. Ex- BB presenter Russell Brand is due to host the entire contest- with Kate Thorton presenting an ITV 2 spin-off entitled "Leadership Race Uncut".

The show will begin airing January 2009.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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