Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 2 June 2007

image for Queen cancels all engagements after losing entire year's Civil List handout on Epsom Derby
Lost a packet at the Epsom Derby today

Windsor Castle - (Ass mess): Queen Elizabeth has cancelled all engagements after betting the entire 2007 Civil List handout on the Epsom Derby by backing 16/1 shot Strategic Prince on the Blue Riband showpiece today.

The wager was prompted after a string of heavy ante-post losses on Royal Stables Derby no-hopers including colts Alladin's Cave, Osama's Ransom, Blue-Eyed Blair and Oaks-entered fillies like My Gal Kate.

Her Maj has returned to the residential wing of Windsor Castle which she has been effectively squatting for some forty years in a gesture of defiance against the international politicians who deposed her as a fraud in 1963.

"We are monitoring the situation carefully," a Palace spokesman said this evening.

"She has thrown a wobbly on a number of previous similar occasions, so we've removed the royal homeopathic aresenic, mandrake and rat poison from the bathroom cabinte, just to make sure."

Camilla, 59, is raving bonkers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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