MI6 Declassifies Documents on Bush's Changing Position on Global Warming

Written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 2 June 2007

image for MI6 Declassifies Documents on Bush's Changing Position on Global Warming
Bush on the phone with Blair talking about The Stern Review. Cheney present as well (not in photo)

London, England - After six years of denial by the Bush's administration, handpicked scientists appointed to tow the official White House policy line that denied global warming ever existed, MI6 documents exposing how Bush changed his mind about global warming are declassified.

After the release of The Stern Review: The Economics of Climate Change (the quintessential economic and environmental impact report on global warning), Blair took it upon himself to personally deliver several copies of it when he visited Bush, leaving them there for him to read.

However, when Blair got back to England and called Bush to ask if had the chance to read it yet, Bush claimed he was unable to find a single copy of the report that Blair had left him.

The following is a copy of the transcript of the transatlantic telephone conversation that took place between Blair and Bush just after Blair gave him copy of The Stern Review when it first came out later last year. Bush is believed to be talking to Cheney in the background as well:

BLAIR: Are you absolutely sure that you have looked everywhere, Mr. President.

BUSH: You know that's a funny thing. I swore I just put it [The Stern Review] down a second ago, right here on my desk. Hold on a minute -

Hey, Cheney! Did you see that report thingy on the planet over heating or something? No? Okay, go back to stuffing that Piñata with those classified documents and don't forget to shred them this time. Hurry it up too. I think I hear Alberto coming down the hall. Oh boy, will he be happy when he breaks open this Piñata. All stuffed with just what he wanted. What? Oh, Blair. Yeah, he's on the phone right now. No. You ask him yourself. Okay -

Hey, Blair.

BLAIR: Yes, Mr. President.

BUSH: Cheney wants to know [giggles]. Cheney wants to know if you still got Prince Alberto in a can. Get it? Alberto [extended laughter]. What? No. Oh, gees. I forgot I had Putin on hold all this time. We got to go Blair. Call us back later. Okay? Bye.

BLAIR: Mr. President. Mr. President. I cannot impress upon you the level of urgency you must attend to this issue. Are you still there? He hung up on me again, didn't he? Oh, bloody [CENSORED FOR NATIONAL SECURITY REASONS].

After that call, Blair realized he would have to make a second trip over, possibly more, if he were to succeed in getting the President's ear on the issue of global warming.

In particular, The Stern Review directly in the hands of the President and not trust Cheney to convey the message to Bush like he did on the last issue [Iraq].

Furthermore, Blair realized it was the neocons that were standing in the way of Bush setting new policy to contend with the challenges of global warming.

Later, he would eventually even come to learn that Cheney was shredding The Stern Review that very day he called, evidently, making it into Piñata stuffing for a Cinco de Mayo office celebration in the West Wing for Alberto.

Eventually, it took the Queen's visit to Bush to get a copy of The Stern Review in his hands and even then, she had to autograph it before he would accept it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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