Hefty women with arms like tree trunks head west, lonely losers left back.

Funny story written by matthatt

Saturday, 2 June 2007

image for Hefty women with arms like tree trunks head west, lonely losers left back.
An East German search party looking for women.

Europe - Bloomburgerandfries - The former East Germany is being drained of sturdy young lasses, leaving an underclass of thick as pig-shit men behind, a study says.

It is well known that Germans living in the former east have been leaving the region in huge numbers since the cakes got better in the rest of Europe.

Many have gone to western Germany, or to foreign countries where there are men with money who don't die so easy from drink related issues, like serosis of the face.

The report, entitled "Too Many Pastey Alcoholic Men", says women have made up the greater part of the exodus.

Since the fall of communism one-and-a-half million tons of East German cellulite has headed west in the hope of finding more shot-put competitions and bigger after dinner treats.

Most of them are under 35 years old, and with a larger than average bite radius and muscle density.

What this new report, by The Institute of useless studies, establishes, is that young women have been leaving in much greater numbers than young men.
Of the men who did leave, many returned due to finding out that they are just as drunk and useless abroad and felt it was better to be a feckless arse in their own country, at least you don't have to learn "have you got some spare change?" in another language.

The result is that in many towns in eastern Germany, there are simply not enough women to go round.
This lack of female company only adds to the frustrations of often nearsighted, hairy palmed and jobless young men, making them easy prey for neo-Nazi groups.

Which is nice bit of irony when you think about it said the researchers.

They are to release a separate report about how these supposedly "Arian" groups, seem to be populated by pimply youths or obese, sausage eating red faced men. These men are so inadequate in other areas of their lives that they feel the need to make up for it by oppressing others, but from the safety of being in a large group of equally ineffectual morons.

The report suggests that the reason young East German women are more inclined to "go west" and stay there is that they tend to be better educated. It goes on to say that fortunately, the male-female imbalance in the east is already leading to a fall in the birth rate in that part of Germany.

In a few years time, natural selection should have weeded out these work-shy drunkards whose only outlet is a daily bout of onanism.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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