Anna Nicole Smith Pisses off Marilyn Monroe
Psychic Friends Network, clairvoyant Cleo, has summoned the spirit of Marilyn Monroe to inquire about her feelings, in regards to being compared to Anna Nicole Smith.
Read full storyPart of the Missing $12 Billion Found in Heather Mills Garbage Can
The twelve billion dollars missing on the way to Iraq have been found, sources reported yesterday. The money has been identified by the FBI from the numbers on the $100 bills. The money was traced to the house of Ms. Heather Mills in London. Ms. Mill...
Read full storyHoward Stern blames his Global Warming Review for Anna Nicole death
Bahamas - (Rioters): Howard Stern, the bereaved partner and personal lawyer of former Playboy centrefold Anna Nicole Smith has told family and friends he blames only himself for her death which came so soon after he published his seminal Stern Review...
Read full storyGerman finds fingertip in Cadbury's Finger of Fudge
Frankfurt - (Rotters): A hungry Frankfurter was in shock today after taking a bite of his Cadbury's Finger of Fudge chocolate treat and noticing an unexpected ingredient: a human fingertip complete with fingernail.
Read full storyEveryone Wants to be Anna Nicole Smith's Baby's Dad
As a general rule, men do not wish to claim paternity of a child outside of marriage. This is not true in the case of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. Since her death Thursday, 146 men have come forward claiming to be the father of her child. As the...
Read full storyPope to hear Gordon Brown's confession
Vatican City - (ReUterus): Pope Ratzinger has summoned UK Chancellor Gordon Brown to the Vatican to hear his confessionn ahead of any attempts to take over the Prime Monstership at 10 Drowning Street.
Read full storyAnna Nicole breasts saved for the Nation, will hang at the Smithsonian
Washington DC - (ReUterus & Ass. Mess): Following the sudden news of Anna Nicole's Smith's tragic demise aged just 39 Congress has voted overwhelmingly to save her breasts for the Nation.
Read full storyMan Greets Other Man While Urinating - Both Men Become Instantly Gay
Dallas, Texas - Ray Furrows, 33, and Peter Santino, 56, were both urinating side-by side in the men's restroom at "Big 'N' Tubby's Steakhouse," when Furrows turned to Santino and said, "How's it goin'?" cau...
Read full storyAustralian Soccer Team owned by Russell Crowe Drops Cheerleaders Due to Skimpy Outfits
The South Sydney Rabbitohs, a soccer team owned by Academy Award winning actor Russell Crowe, has dropped their cheerleaders due, in part, to their skimpy outfits. The soccer team has announced that they will be replaced by drummers and have asked p...
Read full storyCriminals Asked To Be More Entertaining For News
Las Vegas - In the wake of what the news media are calling "boring news", the Las Vegas Police Department is asking local criminals to try their best to be "more entertaining" when committing crimes.
Read full storyPavrotti Comes Out of Retirement Will Perform World Tour Again
Opera legend, Luciano Pavarotti, is being coaxed from retirement and will once more tread the boards of the Opera Houses of the world.
Read full storyPolicemen Break Silence in Long Forgotten John and Lorena Bobbit Case
In 1993, in a fit of anger due to sexual frustration and hostility from abuse, Lorena Bobbit cut off her husband's penis while he slept. She got into her car, drove past a vacant field, and threw John Wayne Bobbit's pride and joy out her window.
Read full storyHillary Clinton Caught In Bed With Rosie O'Donnell
Hillary Rodham Clinton, former First Lady, Current U.S. Senator from New York, and Presidential Candidate was caught in bed with television and movie star Rosie O'Donnell. Room service waiter Frank Buckler of the Lower East Side Holiday Inn in New Y...
Read full storyInbred Tennessee Hillbilly Claims Royalty, Blackmails England's Royal Family
A young girl from Flea Holler, Tennessee has claimed to be carrying the unborn child of Prince William of England. In the past few months, she has also said that she is married to a Prince from Monaco (Albert), engaged to Prince Harry, and from the...
Read full storyComedians defend Reid heckler: "I've never got his jokes either"
Some of Britain's top comedians and Ben Elton have rallied round Abu Izzadeen, the Muslim preacher who was arrested for heckling John Reid.
Read full storyAll The King's Men Sue Due to Hazardous Cholesterol Exposure
The King's horses are dropping dead in the stables and seven of the King's men are in the hospital with heart problems. The men claim that this is due to a bio-hazardous cholesterol exposure when they were forced to try to put Humpty Dumpty...
Read full storyPresident Is On A Winning Streak
George Bush is today feeling pretty happy with himself because for the first time in months he has actually won something.
Read full storyChocolatier Willie Wonka Decides Not To Give Away Factory
World famous chocolate maker Willie Wonka has decided not to give his factory to Charlie Bucket, as was previously announced. Charlie won a golden ticket, along with several other children, and was given the opportunity to tour the secret factory ba...
Read full storyWoman's Group Demands Clothing for Venus De Milo
The International Organization for Women's Rights has demanded that the Venus de Milo statue be dressed. Group Spokeswoman Fern Tilley said that "It's just obscene and not realistic and people need to know that. The museum should put a...
Read full storyElvis Stole My Act Claims Zeke
"Elvis Costello nicked my act", that's the claim being made by Zeke Pocock, a Colorado gas fitter from Pease Pottage in Memphis.
Read full storyBritney Spears Arrested For Washington Courthouse "Scooter" Libby Protest
(Washington, D.C.) A new political awareness? Too much partying? Or a cocktail of both? Whatever the reason, no reporter complained about the view when Britney Spears publicly bore her breasts in support of former Dick Cheney aide Lewis "Scooter...
Read full storyJade Goody V Shilpa Shetty Showdown
It has been a long time coming but Celebrity Big Brother enemies Jade Goody and Shilpa Shetty are to finally have it out in front of a live audience.
Read full storyPortugese Women Only Allowed Abortions After Night Out With Christiano Ronaldo
Portugal, the country with Europe's toughest abortion laws, has accepted that some women should be allowed abortions, but only if they have been out with the cheating, diving, greasy Portugese footballer, Christi...
Read full storyAnna Nicole: Guess Genes contract shows Marshall was her father
Fort Lauderdale, Fla. - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Pathologists working on the autopsy of Anna Nicole Smith who died in a mysterious bout of dropping dead syndrome yesterday have rushed a DNA sample to federal testing labratories after Guess Genes' l...
Read full storyPelosi Demands Bigger Airplane
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has demanded a larger, Government issued airplane. Apparently, the third in line to the United States Presidency feels that she needs something more in line with Air Force One.
Read full storyBranson launches $25m climate prize
London - (Rotters): A $25 million Earth Challenge Prize is being offered by Richard Branson to whoever comes up with the best way of removing significant amounts of George W Bush's envirnomental policies from the agenda at the UN Security Council...
Read full storyThe Truth About W from Lil Bro
When Jeb Bush considers how many reporters, political scientists, sociologists and psychiatrists have asked him the 'W' question, he just loses count. Well, now that big bro has shot his wad, lil' bro spills the beans.
Read full storyJailed! For Dumping Five Pound Notes
Cardiff taxi driver Wyn ApThomas starts a one month prison sentence today, after bureaucrats at Cardiff City Council slapped a ban stopping him dumping five pound notes in his green wheelie bin. Mr. ApThomas, who nearly made...
Read full story10 things you can do when Windows XP won't kick Windows Vista and Gates
Overview: If your computer powers in okay, but the Windows XP operating system won't kick gates and vista properly, you have some troubleshooting ahead of you. Here's a look at the likely culprits and what you can do to fix the kicking problem.
Read full storyTony Blair Snubbed my Aunty Dot
I was shocked to a stand still after Tony Blair snubbed my Aunty Dot in favour of meeting Shilpa Shetty.
Read full storyTiffany and Dawn Sox's next CD
Hey y'all, It's Tiffany, riding with the insiders and I am all over the music scene. So, here's whats up!...
Read full storyItalian hooligans forced to fight behind closed doors
The Italian Football Association have decreed that following the appalling scenes in Catania last week, where a football match erupted inside the stadium mid-way through the Catania vs The Police fixture, all major league and amateur hooliganism will...
Read full storyNew Evidence Fuels New Jam Theory
Food scientists announced today that jam as we know it, maybe older than the scientific community at first thought.
Read full storyShah Rukh Khan Refuses Madame Tussaud
SRK has refused Madam T's invitation to make his wax statue. It was his dream that one day, his wax statue would be made by Madame T. He was very excited to go and get his wax replica done, he ev...
Read full storyBacon portrait breaks record at £14 million
London - (Rioters): The art world was stunned last night when a Francis Bacon portrait of Pope Pius XII - known as Hitler's Pope - sold for a record breaking £14 million.
Read full storyAnna Nicole: leaking silicone implant blamed
Hollywood, Florida - (Rioters): Tragic former Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith who died suddenly yesterday aged 39 may have been the victim of a burst silicone implant which accidentally began oozing into her bloodstream.
Read full storySuperbowl Half-time Spectacular Features Britney Spears' whistling 'The Star Spangled Banner' out her Vagina
After the tawdry boob-fest offered by Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson at last year's Superbowl, it was hoped that the half-time entertainment, at this years Colts verses Bears clash, would be the epitome of family fun.
Read full storyParis Hilton has Sex Change
Paris Hilton recently revealed she's under going a series of operations and when she's finished she'll legally be a man.
Read full storyOnline Confessional Box "AskFrFred" a Smash-Hit
In direct contrast to the Catholic abandonment of the parish confessional, AskFrFred online confessional box is all the rage. Who would have suspected that the emotional abuse visited on generations of older Catholics would become a fad for today'...
Read full storyRich Finally Admit They're Getting Richer
After several years of denial, America's rich are finally admitting they are getting richer.
Read full storyRC Priest drops grudge against sex advisers; opens website
When they first began on their journey to creating an entire sex-related empire, Havinghurst Dewurst and his wife had little idea it would have put their lives at danger. These sex entrepreneurs are claiming their sex industriousness is fraught by a...
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith's Son is the Father
In a bizarre twist to a really strange life the DNA evidence is in as to who the father to Anna's baby is. DNA experts have determined that lawyer, Howard K Stern and photographer Larry Birkhead have been ruled out as the fathers of Anna Nicole...
Read full storyArchaeologists Uncover Round World Map From Middle Ages!
Digger Phelps, University of Notre Dame former basketball coach and archaeologist, claims to have discovered a round world map from 1207.
Read full storyBush-Blair Declared First Post-Natal Identical Twins!
In a near incredible story that only the US National Enquirer and a dozen British dailies would carry, scientists at five different renowned research labs have found that Blair and Bush are genetically identical twins! Medical journals around the wor...
Read full storyBuster and the Baby Angel, Chapter 4
Here is the fourth chapter of the continuing saga of novelist F. Buller's latest novel. Serialized here exclusively in The Spoof.
Read full storyLatest NASA Shocker: Hubble can Peer THRU Your Roof Into Your Bedroom
Following the latest NASA shocker that one of their Space Cadets went bonkers NASA admitted today that the Hubble telescope can indeed hyper-dimensionally zoom in through your roof and actually READ the "magazine" whose pictures yo...
Read full story