All The King's Men Sue Due to Hazardous Cholesterol Exposure

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Friday, 9 February 2007

image for All The King's Men Sue Due to Hazardous Cholesterol Exposure
The King's men are upset about possible bio-hazard exposure due to a royal assignement

The King's horses are dropping dead in the stables and seven of the King's men are in the hospital with heart problems. The men claim that this is due to a bio-hazardous cholesterol exposure when they were forced to try to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Dumpty was one of the King's best friends and closest advisors. When he took a great fall from the castle walls (some think it was really a suicide attempt), several aides to the crown were ordered to put him back together. While they failed in their mission, they do believe that the prolonged exposure to high concentrations of cholestrol has given them all health problems."

"Ja," said Swedish cholestrol researcher Jan Jenson, "It could happen. Zese men are not yolking about zis."

"Look," said Castle spokesman Roger Cook, "sometimes you're going to get a little dirty in your work. If you clean stables, you get crap on your shoes. If you're a chef and going to make omelets, you've got to break a few eggs."

"You do your job and don't complain, that is something without any gray areas, just in black and white. If you can't do that, you are just a shell of a man. I get really fried when I hear this kind of complaining. They ought to just get over this, it's easy enough. It's not like a little exposure scrambled their brains or anything."

"If they did get sick helping Humpty Dumpty, it was just part of the job and they need to get on with what is left of their lives. Besides, we have a good health plan in place. Just look at the sunny side! Up here in the castle, we try to think positive."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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