Everyone Wants to be Anna Nicole Smith's Baby's Dad

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Friday, 9 February 2007

As a general rule, men do not wish to claim paternity of a child outside of marriage. This is not true in the case of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. Since her death Thursday, 146 men have come forward claiming to be the father of her child. As the baby is heir to a large fortune, the biological parent would obviously control the money and raise the child. The list grows every hour.

So far, that list includes two Catholic priests, three homosexuals, two men who have never left Algeria (which Smith never visited), two men in their 90's (remember that she once had a thing for much older men), Gary Coleman (who withdrew his claim when he found out that this was not the governor's race), a circus midget, a former Survivor contest (who'll obviously do anything for money and a shot at fame), an astronaut (who was aboard the international space station at the time of conception), Kevin Federline (who says he needs the money since his Super Bowl commercial's failure), six women, a spinster's cat, three different Howard Sterns, and a hermaphrodite from the Stripperama Club in Las Vegas.

To add your name to the list of those claiming fatherhood, please fill out a claim form at:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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