Woman's Group Demands Clothing for Venus De Milo

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Friday, 9 February 2007


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image for Woman's Group Demands Clothing for Venus De Milo
Apparently, a woman's group wants to see Venus in blue jeans

The International Organization for Women's Rights has demanded that the Venus de Milo statue be dressed. Group Spokeswoman Fern Tilley said that "It's just obscene and not realistic and people need to know that. The museum should put a bra and a dress on the statue and cover up her nakedness. She's a woman and she has breasts and buttocks. Just because they are there does not mean we need to see them."

"We're lucky that she has a towel covering her privates, or it would be the Britney Spears of the art world. We think the arms were removed because she was trying to cover herself."

"We also think she needs to be turned to face a different direction. Where she stands, she is looking across a museum at the naked statue of David and she has a studying and flirtatious look on her face. Statues don't get horny for each other!"

"Art needs to be normal and show women in a modest, non-sexual, realistic way."

"Of course it isn't realistic," said National Museum of Art Director Louis Freeze, "it is an old statue. What woman that age wouldn't have fat rolls and be sagging down to her knees? If she had arms, I really think she'd be flipping these bozos off!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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