Dolly Parton Turns 90 Years Old
Pigeon Poop, Tennessee - Dolly Parton today celebrated her 90th birthday. Most people in attendance were shocked to learn that Dolly was this old.
Read full storyProfessor Stephen Hawking designs robot to lick his ass
A report in this months "Science Fanatic" magazine states that renowned British scientist Professor Stephen Hawking has designed a robotic device that licks his ass.
Read full storyRattlesnake dies of foodpoisoning after biting Mrs Tennessee
Tuscon, Arizona - (Ass Mess): A charismatic, evangelical, snake-charming, Southern Baptist church community is in shock after one of their prized congregation members, a rattlesnake called Big Bobby, suddenly died of acute food poisoning after biting...
Read full storyOfficial: Vikings came from Australia
Sydney, Australia - (Ass Mess): It is a truth universally acknowledged that Vikings - or Norsemen as they are sometimes called - originally came from Australia and not some Thor-forsaken Scandivanian hellhole...
Read full storyFurious Camilla flies to Mediterranean holiday with Mohammed Fayed
Birkhall House, Wee Bonnny Scotland - (Ass Mess & ReUterus): Camilla has defied convention after being booted off Friday's Guards Chapel Diana Memorial Cringefest by flying off on a sun, sea and sex vacation in the Mediterranean with Mohammed Fay...
Read full storyMexican Boy saved by Elephant spunk
A 9 year old Mexican boy had a lucky escape yesterday, after falling 20 feet from a building.
Read full storyVick Reveals His Moment Of Truth
Beleaguered former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who miraculously found Jesus this week, has revealed the bible passage which opened his heart to the messiah, exclusively for The Spoof.
Read full storyAustralian Alliteration Alliance alleges Albinio Anarchist association after Adelaide apartment arson attack
The Australian Absolute Alliteration Alliance (AAAA) has alleged that an albino Anarchist caused the blaze at their Adelaide city apartment building.
Read full storyJudge Reinhold attempts comeback
Following hot on the heels of Steve Guttenburgs appearances in Veronica Mars, other 80's has been Judge Reinhold is to reinvent himself on the small screen.
Read full storyTarantino and Dolph Lundgren in Immigration Epic
"Pulp Fiction" director Quentin Tarantino and "He Man" knucklehead Dolph Lundgren are top lining a mega budget historical family drama.
Read full storyKanye West to be immortalised in chocolate poo
Rapper Kanye West took his love of chocolate poo to new heights when he became the new face of Hershey's Doo-Doo range of chocolate treats.
Read full story24 star is a eunuch
"Jack Bauer" actor Kiefer Sutherland has spoken to German paper Das Bild about his trauma at discovering that he is a eunuch.
Read full storyStevie Wonder banned from driving Again
Music man Stevie Wonder has been cautioned for drink driving again - that's the 89th time this week.
Read full storyRon Paul Supporter Hospitalized After 36 Hour Web-Posting Marathon
AUSTIN, TX (AP Newsliar) -- A Ron Paul supporter collapsed from exhaustion after spending 36 hours straight on the Internet, posting pro-Paul comments on various blogs, repeatedly viewing videos to pad the stats of the Ron Paul YouTube channel, and s...
Read full storyMan Vs Wild Quietly Disappears
TV Land, Ether Island (IP) - Our entertainment reporter recently noticed that the television show, Man Vs Wild has disappeared into thin air. It has gone the way of the DoDo bird, the Edsel, and the bird flu never to be seen nor heard from again. T...
Read full storyHam Radio Operator Mr. Finoocth's Cousin's Birthday August 31st
Galactic Headquarters, Small Magellanic Cloud (IP) - Mr. Finootch should not be confused with his cousin. Mr. Finootch looks like a character on either an Outer Limit's episode or Twighlight Zone episode where a bank employee who is a book wo...
Read full storyNelson Mandela Statue Looks A Bit Like Morgan Freeman
A statue of Nelson Mandela erected in Parliament Square in London shows more than a passing resemblance to the Hollywood actor Morgan Freeman.
Read full storyMeteor Shower To Rain Down Flaming Boulders
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - The Carl Sagan Institute reports that the Aurigid meteor shower will occur for an hour and a half in the early morning hours of September 1st along the west coast of the U.S.A. and Hawaii. Large boulder sized meteor...
Read full storyPolystyrene Hats
In a surprise announcement this morning the home secretary announced that all people over forty will receive a free polystyrene hat an their birthday this year.
Read full storyAre our cauliflowers properly educated?
Research out today that the cauliflowers in Britain's schools are receiving the worst education ever, with exam results last year showing an average cauliflower IQ of 0. But what is to be done about this appalling state of affairs I spoke to the...
Read full storyPunchline outbreak in news still uncontrolable
Today an Irishman, a priest, an Englishman, a blonde, a rabbi, a brunet a panda and other religious leaders went into a pub this morning after months of speculation.
Read full storyPig Crisis in Moroco
The country of Morocco is still suffering under the strain of the Moroccan pig crisis. The crisis has been going on now for over six weeks and there is no sight if respite from this deadly pig crisis.
Read full storyMiss Teen USA finalist, Lauren Caitlin Upton, offered a job at the White House as Bush's new political speechwriter
Washington, D.C. - Taken aback by the speech Miss Teen USA finalist, Lauren Caitlin Upton, gave at last Friday's competition, President Bush offered her a job as his official speechwriter.
Read full storyLarry Craig says, "Let me make something perfectly queer..."
Before a luncheon of the League of Republican Women Voters in his home state, Idahomo Senator Larry "Widestance" Craig, said "Let me make something perfectly queer, I AM NOT GAY!"...
Read full storyDo a dry run with your kids now to help them get over first day of school jitters or cold feet, say experts
Los Angeles, California - As summer draws to a close and with schools starting up, many parents are wondering what they can do to help their children make the transition back to school a little bit easier. Experts advise parents not to wait until the...
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