Sydney, Australia - (Ass Mess): It is a truth universally acknowledged that Vikings - or Norsemen as they are sometimes called - originally came from Australia and not some Thor-forsaken Scandivanian hellhole
Those are the findings of Sydney-based archaeologist Denis Gojak after finding fossilised kangaroo droppings, ancient TripleXXX Lager can remains and Koala-worshipping artefacts in a newly-discovered Swedish temple site.
Gojak is to address Vikink specialists at next month's Australian Archaeology Conference in Sydney where he hopes to show off some of his new-found trophies.
The maverick hyserian is scornful of generally-accepted theories linking Vikings to ancient Icelandic waters and says he has also found 3,000 year old Norse remains in Ayres Rock in Australia that bear an uncanny resemblance to Swedish site findings.
"I think it's a failing in our profession that Vikings have ben labelled Norsemen when they are, so clearly, pre-Aboriginal Aussies," Gojak said today.
"It's not outside the realms of possibility at all that these Ancient warriors may have come from Australia," he added.
"And so far no one has presented any good evidence to the contrary."
