Dead Monkey Designer Bags Sold at Sainsbury's
An astounding two million bags were sold at Sainsbury's supermarkets in just one hour.
Read full storyBush Sends CIA Asassins to Jamaica
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Jamaica - Today, when someone was reading President George W. Bush the news, he came across a headline that said, "Marley's Ghost to Welcome Fans for Cricket World Cup" He immediately ordered the CIA to "re-...
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell Announces New Reality Show - Teaming with Trump and Sharpton
New York - Only hours after announcing that she would be leaving the ABC daytime show, The View, popular talk show host and comedienne, Rosie O'Donnell announced that she would be teaming with controversial businessman Donald Trump, and civil rig...
Read full storyHarry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
J.K. Rowling's laptop has been intercepted by a TheSpoof.com source with details on the final installment of the Harry Potter Stories the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Read full storyBush and Cheney Chide Democrats
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, President Bush had a Texas style showdown with House and Senate Democrats.
Read full story"Wiggles" Horror! Dorothy Eats Anthony at Concert!
(Sydney, Australia) Shock waves were sent all throughout Australia last night when tragedy struck a popular children's band. "The Wiggles", an Australian band for pre-schoolers, were performing at a concert in Melbourne when one of the...
Read full storySunday school teacher grandmas arrested in Rome satanic child molestor ring
Rome -(Ass Mess): Mamma Mia! The Rome Carabineri were busy last weekend smashing yet another satanic child molestor ring consisting of...er, three middle aged women teachers - two of whom are elderly grandmothers who teach at a Sunday school - a woma...
Read full storyLee Kuan Yew's speech to party members on Singapore's Ministers Pay Increase
Lee Kuan Yew, the Minister holding the post of Minister Mentor in the Singapore government, with his son holding the post of Prime Minister, recently had their salaries increased from over two million Singapore Dollars (US$1.5 million), to more than...
Read full storyOSHA Now Run By George W. Bush
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - The Occupational Safety and Health Administration, or OSHA, has been taken over by President George W. Bush.
Read full storyBitch Smacked Up By Gunner Queen
It is a well known fact that Prince William is an Aston Villa supporter, Charles Prefers netball to Football and Harry likes the odd game of Ker-plunk but did anybody know that her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is a Gunner apparently taking after Queen...
Read full storyCrazy Cal Gets Stuck in Microwave
CCN - Smallville - After returning from The Fortress of Solitude where his Superhero Texan Friend is recovering from the Holy War at TheSpoof.com, Cal-el's wife, Black Canary, thinking he had been out carousing, threw him in the microwave and set...
Read full storyPolice Find Bag In Thames Valley Town
Police in Reading Berkshire have found a bag in a trendy shopping centre and have announced that they are completely baffled by the find.
Read full storyShock as Latest Di Coroner Quits
The decision by Lady Butler-Sloss to quit as the Coroner for the Inquest into the death of Diana, Princess of Wales and her boyfriend Dodi Al Fayed has caused shock in legal circles.
Read full storyGiuliani Outlines Top 10 Tragedies if Dems Win
(New York) Rudy Giuliani's Presidential campaign released today what they're calling a top ten list of bad things that will happen if a democrat wins the next Presidential election. Democrats are calling the list a scare tactic, but haven't denied any of the claims.
Read full storyBush Chooses New War Czar
After weeks of searching for a so-called 'War Czar' that would oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Bush Administration has found their man.
Read full storyCaptain America is a burrito-stuffed groper
Melbourne, Florida - (Ass Mess): It's the old battle of the sexes rearing its ugly once again as a New Jersey physician found out last weekend after advice from colleagues in how to succeed with the opposite sex went horribly awry.
Read full storyDannielle Lloyd Steps Out with Black Boyf
Liver-slag Danielle Lloyd today stepped out with her new beau, conspicuously black football player Marcus Bent of Charlton Athletic.
Read full storyBritney wants Willy
Britney Spears has been shooting her mouth off saying that she wants Willy.
Read full storyBush Tells the People of Darfur to Go Shopping
In the wake of a gross humanitarian catastrophe, President Bush told the people of Darfur that the best way to resolve their situation is to go shopping.
Read full storyMonica Lewinski Drafted for 2008 Presidential Election
According to an undisclosed source, the Republican National Committee has offered Monica Lewinski a seven-figure deal to appear in negative attack ads that will target Hillary Clinton in the 2008 presidential election.
Read full storyCattle Believed To Contribute To Greenhouse Effect
Agricultural scientists and dairy farmers today made a joint statement saying that cows are the major polluters of the atmosphere and that they should all be fitted with catalytic converters before global warming gets out of control.
Read full storyVodka producers mourn the passing of Boris Yeltsin
Moscow - It has been revealed today that the nation's vodka producers face mass lay-offs and possibly bankruptcy due to the unfortunate passing of former Russian President Boris Yeltsin on Monday.
Read full storyAlien Invasion Of Europe Set For 2008
It has been exclusively revealed today that some clever scientists have been contacted by the CIA and MI5 and been told to expect an alien invasion in 2008.
Read full storyIranian involvement in Australian Marie Celeste yacht still top theory
Brisbane, Australia - (Rioters): The finger of suspicion is increasingly pointed at pesky fundamentalist Iranian kidnappers following the disappearance of all three crew members from the yacht Kaz II which was found empty and drifting off the Great B...
Read full storyRolf to Paint Queen Nude
Rolf Harris was today announced as the artist who will paint the nude portrait of HRH Queen Elizabeth.
Read full storyBlair Rejects Leeks
Tony Blair today refused to accept leeks as part of the five a day.
Read full storyThe Spoof Writers Win Award
Writers on The Spoof Website have been nominated for the Pulitzer prize, it was announced today.
Read full storyJudge affirms post offices are God Squad-free zones
Hartford, Conn - (Ass Mss): Religious pamphlets, books, stickers, publications and other superstitious God-squad propaganda have no place in "post offices run by churches and other private contractors" after US District Judge Dominic J. Squ...
Read full storyButler Sloshed dumped in Diana inquest fiasco Act III, Part VI
London - (Ass Mess): Acting Coroner Baroness Elizabeth Butler Sloshed has been dumped from conducting the October inquest into the death of Diana, ex-wife of the Pretender to the Throne after admitting she was too old and doddery to be up to the job...
Read full storyStevie Wonder Misplaces Sunglasses, Regains Sight
Stevie Wonder, the aging, blind, black pianist, had his prayers answered yesterday morning, when he rose from his slumbers to discover that HE COULD SEE AGAIN! Mr Wonder, now 91, woke around 6am to find he had misplaced his huge black sunglasses.
Read full storyMills is booted off US dance show, leg stays to go into next round.
Heather Mills is a bit miffed to say the least; the poor monoped has been having a tough time of things of late despite her trying to ingratiate herself to the general public by entering arse kicking contests and dancing competitions.
Read full storyMellon in the dock on spying and hacking charges
SouthFork Crown Court, London - (Ass Mess): Perma-tanned wannabe banking heir Matthew Mellon and four pals are in the dock today charged with paying corrupt ex-cops to spy on his ex-wife Tamara by hacking into her electronic mail for blackmail purpos...
Read full storyNew Planet Discovered Hovering Near Solar System
A new planet that could rival Earth, has been discovered near the edge of the solar system. The new planet is said to be quite good and looks a lot better than our own dying world.
Read full storyThousands of animal rights activists to benefit as Mills booted off show
Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Thousands of animal rights activists will benefit from the whopping big performance fee paid to peroxide monoped Dancing with the Star Whores contestant Heather Mills who was booted off the show last night after six gruellin...
Read full storyPM was warned about cottaging on Hampstead Heath
London - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Tony Blair was warned by police about cottaging in North London's prestigeous multi-millionaire Hampstead Heath area before he became party leader in 1994 according to transcripts of newly dicovered Robert Ma...
Read full storyRussia Buries Yeltsin
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Russia will bury President Boris Yeltsin today. Many past and present officials will attend the funeral. From Britian former prime minister John Major will be at the funeral in a personal capacity while Prince Andrew will als...
Read full storyJade Goody "I saw everything ya Honour"
The television star and serial racist Jade Goody was again in the spotlight today when she was appearing in court to present her account of an attack that took place in February this year at top London nightclub "The National Fr...
Read full storyNo Woman, No Cry!
Leading technology experts believe that within the next 5 years men will no longer need women.
Read full storyLiquorice Allsorts to be banned!
The nations favorite sweets Liquorice Allsorts are set to be controversially banned under new rulings.
Read full storyJohn Titor Goes to Hogwarts with a Warning
John Titor from the year 2036 has return to the year 1991 in June to warn Albus Dumbledore that the Dark Lord will return fully powerful in four years from now. John showed Albus a 2007 satellite picture of Hogwarts completely flattened. Albus looked at the picture and sure enough, there was the black lake and the distinct towers, except the trees were all missing. Albus looked up to John and said...
Read full storySex, Alcohol and Paid Time Off For Smokers Says Tony Blair
In a sudden U-turn the Government is attempting to boost smoking in the UK by offering free time off work while you try to quit. The Minister for Health expects the new incentive to encourage at least 100 million new smokers within the next 12 months...
Read full storyAliens Demand Full Social Security Benefits!
Illegal aliens descended upon the nation's capital in mass yesterday. The unwelcome visitors sought to lobby the United States Senate to release a bill from markup committee guaranteeing all resident aliens of the United States full social secur...
Read full storyOrient Express? That'll Do Nicely.....
Great North Eastern Railways PLC have unveiled the latest addition to their services - 'The Scunthorpe To Vladivostok Orient Express'.
Read full storyEarth-like Planet Thought to Be Discovered
CCN - Space - Today, Scientists, using the Hubble Telescope, thought that they had discovered an Earth-like planet only 50 light years away. They immediately started doing calculation on how long it would take a flight to get from Earth to the new p...
Read full storyASKFRFRED About Limbo...
Dear Fr Fred, If there is no limbo,where did Bob Marley go when he died? President of The Hemp Enthusiasts at Duke De...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Prepares to Go to India
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, George W. Bush said that he would go to India to have peace talks with the Dalai Lama.
Read full storyBuster and the Baby Angel, Chapter 19
Just when the original question of origin seemed like it would roll around the talented orifice of Ms Marlenya ad infinitum, the creature began to speak in a voice as soft as her floral petals but in a choral sound like fifty flowers speaking at once:...
Read full storyBush War Plan Revealed: Hang On Til Election, Let Democrats Lose
(Planet Washington) -- A White House intern in the Bush White House has blown a whopper bigger than that made infamous by Monica Lewinsky, intern of Clinton era fame. Sweet Polly Purebread has revealed to several reporters at a downtown DC watering...
Read full storyMillion Dollar Panel Discovers: "Generals Should Not Decide GI's Disability, Doctors Should!"
In a ground-breaking finding by a million dollar study group, it has been reported that military commanders short on troops have been known to send disabled soldiers back into battle.
Read full storyMuslim Iran Imports Catholic Nuns to Enforce Dress Code
Forget the Moolahs and the Ayatollahs, Sister Mary Manicheanist is on her way to Tehran. Iranian "puritans" are struggling with the new generation's liberal style of dress. "Everything we try has failed!", despaired Ayatollah...
Read full storyJohn McCain Goes Manchurian on Daily Show
(TV Land) -- This evening's airing of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Comedy Central Network, the nation's top rated news network, revealed a frustrated, rambling, drooling, incoherent John McCain who revealed himself to be THE MANCHURIAN...
Read full storyWall-Happy Americans Relent in Iraq!
Walls Galore is how the World Press has been describing US foreign and domestic policy since the demise of the Berliner. Made of jelly doughnut or cruller, the Berlin Wall fell to the applause of the free world. Down or not it has cast its ominous sh...
Read full storyMushroom Cloud? I said Mushroom Soup!
(Foggy Bottom, Planet Washington) -- Secretary of State Condoleeza "Wild" Rice, workout partner number one, was overheard at the recent White House Correspondents' dinner featuring the late Rich Little (R-Embalmed): "....my favori...
Read full storyWar Heroes Tell Congress: We Were Ordered To Lie
(Planet Washington) -- In sworn testimony before a House Committee today, a US Army Ranger testified that he was ordered to lie about the circumstances of a fellow soldier's death. Another soldier who was publicized by the Army as a female Rambo...
Read full storyBush 9/11 Team Sets Fire to Batman Set
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Chicago - Today, the set of the new Batman movie went up in flames. It was suggested that the fire started in the ventilation system of the building, and was set by the same people who rigged the explosives in New York's 9...
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