"Wiggles" Horror! Dorothy Eats Anthony at Concert!

Funny story written by Doug Burrell

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

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New member of The Wiggles?

(Sydney, Australia) Shock waves were sent all throughout Australia last night when tragedy struck a popular children's band. "The Wiggles", an Australian band for pre-schoolers, were performing at a concert in Melbourne when one of their mascots, a female dinosaur named Dorothy, attacked and killed band member Anthony Wiggle.

Animal rights groups had been calling for years for The Wiggles to stop using Dorothy in their act.

"Dinosaurs are wild animals and it's their instinct to eat people", explained PETA spokeswoman, Jane Lesane. "I'm only surprised this didn't happen sooner."

The incident occurred when Anthony, (who is, ironically, known for his love of eating), put his head in Dorothy's mouth during a planned skit in which one of The Wiggles appears to have fallen asleep and is missing. Anthony was supposed to look inside Dorothy's mouth to find the missing Wiggle, but the deranged dinosaur chomped down and bit off his head. As panic stricken children screamed in terror, another of The Wiggles touring group, Captain Feather Sword, reportedly looted Anthony's possessions.

Band member Murray Wiggle told the press after the show that the dangers of brining a dinosaur on tour were always known and the band is thinking about replacing Dorothy with another animal, "perhaps a shark or a hippo."

Auditions to replace Anthony will be held this Sunday at the Sydney Convention & Exhibition Centre. Those who come are asked to bring a weapon for their own safety.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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