Million Dollar Panel Discovers: "Generals Should Not Decide GI's Disability, Doctors Should!"

Funny story written by Pointer

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

image for Million Dollar Panel Discovers: "Generals Should Not Decide GI's Disability, Doctors Should!"
Halliburton exec says deaths and profits are moving along nicely

In a ground-breaking finding by a million dollar study group, it has been reported that military commanders short on troops have been known to send disabled soldiers back into battle.

Some anecdotal evidence from every war since Ughs fought Alleyoops has suggested that the leaders who want to win battles tend to underestimate a soldier's wounds to have more fighters on the front lines. But it took the geniuses associated with the Bush-league administration to provide scientific evidence to prove this is true.

Halliburton executives, rolling in dough, explained their findings: "Doctors seem better able to diagnose disability than military commanders. Bush, Cheney, and a multitude of chicken hawks apparently didn't know this since none of these leaders, so willing to sacrifice the lives and health of young people, had ever been to war. But, to their credit, as soon as they gave Halliburton millions of dollars they learned their lesson quickly!"

As Halliburton profits sky-rocketed and Iraqi war deaths and disabilities kept pace, Us Generals in Iraq from a Halliburton-built cocktail lounge in Baghdaddysburg said the casualties are acceptable.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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