Attorney General Gonzales Resigns Amid Bush Gay Sex Scandal
WASHINGTON - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales confronted with an onslaught of calls for his resignation from the bipartisan Senate today announced his resignation.
Read full story"Beach Boy" Mike Love's New Single
Mike Love, lead singer of "The Beach Boys" has a new single set for release this coming Tuesday. In recent years, Mike has been touring without original members, Brian Wilson and Al Jardine, in part because of numerous lawsuits he has brought against them. With his new song, he hopes to mend the rift between him and his band mates and reunite for a new world tour.
Read full storyIran Test Nuclear Bomb
Today Iran had successful test of setting off a nuclear bomb. The bomb test resulted in 30 megatons of destructive power. This was an underground test to prevent radioactive material from contaminating large area. Washington reacted badly and stated,...
Read full storyJohn McCain to Join The Beach Boys!
After hearing John McCain sing "bomb, bomb, bomb...bomb, bomb Iran" to the tune of the popular Beach Boy's song, "Barbara Ann", at a campaign rally in So...
Read full storyAngelina adopts Knut
Angelina Jolie's agent today confirmed that the Pitt-Jolie's have started adoption proceedings for popular baby polar bear Knut. The couple hope to bring home the new addition to their ever expanding family next Wednesday, although the stars...
Read full storyJamaican Police in DNA/Marijuana mix up!
It could have happened to anyone, but as mistakes go, it was a doozy.
Read full storyHaley Scarnato to Sue Blake Lewis Over American Idol Shorts Stitch-up
Hollywood, CA: Ousted American Idol contestant Haley Scarnato, who almost became famous for her ever-decreasing clothing as the show progressed, is to sue fellow contestant Blake Lewis for allegedly sabotaging her chances by deliberately mis-stitchin...
Read full storyFinancial Report Shows Edwards Spent $18 at SUPERCUTS
After it was disclosed that John Edwards' campaign committee picked up the tab for a haircut costing $18 at SUPERCUTS, Republicans have spoken out.
Read full storyBollywood astrologers give verdicts for Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan wedding
Mumbai - (Reuterus): As the sun moves into the sign of Taurus the Bull and mighty Saturn ends its baleful retrograde transit of Leo Bollywood is preparing for the wedding of the century as its two greatest stars, Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan,...
Read full storyDavid Blaine's Next Stunt: Eaten Alive!
(New York) David Blaine, known for his unique style of street magic and outrageous, death-defying stunts, has planned his next big attraction which he is calling "Eaten Alive."...
Read full storyAccident Kills Cartoon Frog
The entertainment world is mourning today, following the tragic death of Warner Brothers icon Michigan J. Frog. Mr. Frog was killed when he was hit by a car.
Read full storyImus Returns to Radio/MS-NBC to Slur Koreans
In the wake of the horrific Virginia Tech murders, America has called on fallen icon Don Imus, asking that he return to his microphone to give them that which they so desperately need and which only he can adequately provide: hateful, racial slurs ai...
Read full storyKnut is really a Steiff
Popular polar bear Knut was fast becoming a headline attraction until one discerning onlooker pointed out that he was in fact a stuffed toy.
Read full storyZero Premium Life Policy Launched in West Virginia
Wheeling,WV (AP) The long awaited launch of the latest type of life insurance has finally arrived. This morning, at Wheeling Elementary School, Fifth grader Janet Sutton made the announcement.
Read full storyNew Incentive For Obese Maths Students
In a desperate attempt to get modern porky kids interested in mathematics, schools throughout the UK are trying to make the boring crusty subject more relevant.
Read full storyKnives out for Wolfowitz, resignation imminent
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): First he started a civil war in Iraq and now he's fomenting one at the International Bank for Deconstruction and Embezzlemen - aka the World Bank - where he is CEO.
Read full storyLatest UK Rich List 'biggest load of cobblers since Wikipedia'
London - (Ass Mess): The man who has compiled the latest UK Rich List, Dr Philip Beresford, has been branded as the country's most gullible and easily deluded fantasist since UK spooks spoofed Tony Blair with their WMD fairy story in 2002.
Read full storyMiss Universe national costumes controversy
Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Contestants in next months's Mexico City Miss Universe pageant have been told to rethink their national costumes after a spate of sartorial faux pas was deemed too damned accurate for the sponsors' liking.
Read full storyPrince William/Jade Goody Celebrity Love Match Latest
Prince William, recently dumped by decidedly ordinary Kate Middleclass, is to try his luck with someone a few steps down the social ladder - and the evolutionary scale! - ex-Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother slug...
Read full storyPolice protection for Knut following Putin insult
Celebrity Big Brother winner, Knut the Polar Bear has long been an outspoken critic of the Putin political regime and it's descent into the dark communistic days of yore, but he may have overstepped his bounds recently as he has...
Read full storyPrince William's waxwork 'losing its erection'
London - (Ass Mess): Prince Wiliam's waxwork at the famous London Madam Tussaud's Museum appears to have suddenly de-tumesced after the 24 year old son of the Pretender to the Throne got dumped by Kate Middleton.
Read full storyCruise to play Queen Victoria
In light of the recent furore regarding Tom Cruise and his latest plans to play Count Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg (One of the Hitler plotters), we can exclusively reveal that Tom also plans to portray Queen Victoria.
Read full storyOrigins of Chupacabra Discovered
Two Texas researchers have solved a mystery that explains one well-known phenomenon, while it uncovers a scandal lost in the mists of antiquity.
Read full storyArea Man Admits Sandwich Didn't Really Taste like Shit
Don Carson, an electrician with Webco Construction, thinks he may have exaggerated when he said a reuben he ordered at King's Sandwich Shack "tasted like shit".
Read full storyLucas Unhappy, 'Needs More Damn Money'
MARIN COUNTY--Lucas (58) may be ready to die now that his purpose in life has been fullfilled. "I have said many times, I am done with everything Star Wars. So the only way to get around my decree, is for me to pass away. Then only then will...
Read full storyAlien Hybrids Spotted In San Francisco Greyhound Bus Station
Reports out of San Francisco by unverified sources say that strange, large headed, small eared and mouthed alien hybrid looking people keep unloading off Greyhound buses arriving in San Francisco mainly from desolate desert states like Nevada.
Read full storyJesus Burial Site Authenticated
Dendrochronologists and speliologists have joined research efforts to confirm dates of the wood in the cave when Jesus was buried. Thanks to new methods learned from watching Titanic and CSI reruns, the dating methods conclude with 91% accuracy that...
Read full storyRed means "GO!" as Chavez drives left.
CARACAS (Reuters) - Left-leaning Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has announced plans for Venezuelans to drive on the left side of the road. The left-side of road change is in keeping with his enthusiasm for all things from the left and his promise...
Read full storyThe truth about MI6 and the motorways
They drive yellow vans flashing yellow lights carrying orange cones and men in hard hats and hooded tops but a leaked memo from Downing Street today has given the public its first glimpse of the insides of one of the country's most secretive orga...
Read full storySean Preston Federline Releases Autobiography
After months of hype surrounding the content of his self penned autobiography, nineteen month old Sean Preston Federline has today released his book at a nanny-supervised book signing attended by the worlds media.
Read full storyEmperor Bush?
In a surprise move today President Bush crowned himself Emperor of the World. Congress instantly responded by doing absolutely nothing.
Read full story'Academies my Arse' says Andreas Adonis
In a shock move tonight New Labour's top education guru and professional fish'n'chip frier, Lord Adonis, announced that he was abandoning the Government's flagship programme of building Academies.
Read full storyFall of Epidemic Proportions?
St Louis, MO. - President Bush, increasingly concerned about a possible avian flu (bird flu) pandemic, recently revealed that a highly contagious strain of bird flu may be impossible to contain.
Read full storyApple unveil New iToaster
US firm Apple has confirmed its long awaited venture into the kitchen appliance industry, unveiling the long-awaited iToaster at the next Macworld Expo.
Read full storyTottenham Re-Sign Zamora
Tottenham have called a press conference today at 12:00 where they are expected to announce the new signing of Bobby Zamora.
Read full storyHusband and Wife in '2-in-a-bed' sex romp
A married couple from Bilston in the West Midlands have been at the centre of a sensational sex scandal. The couple, both aged 39, have been sharing the same bed and 'making love' for 15 years! Darren and Lisa Gregson have admitted that they have...
Read full storyNo Deal For Edmonds
Noel Edmonds has been stunned by Channel 4 chiefs as they have declined to take up a renewal clause in his contract to present the hit quiz "Deal or No Deal".
Read full storyBaby Knut death threats from Heather Mills
Berlin - (Rotters): Police are investigating claims that notorious animal rights activist Heather Mills is behind death threats to Berlin Zoo's star exhibit Knut, the little bi-polar bear that fanatics claim should have been put down after being...
Read full storySimon Cowell denies insult/everything - ever!
Simon Cowell, purveyor of soulless, bland lift music, who uses disparaging remarks about anything he isn't personally involved in to make it seem less good than the banal trash that pukes it's way from the ass end of his own...
Read full storyBlackBerry Will Crash Again.
If you're reading this on a BlackBerry right now it's quite possible you won't get to the end of the sentence.
Read full storyUFO Hovers Over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Two Muggles went for a walk to an enchanted castle near a lake on August 14th 1995. "Most times when Muggles came to the castle they run out scared," said Professor Dumbledore. But these two Muggles will have a different surprise. They are both 13 years old. They approached Hogsmeade and looked at the town. They wasn't any activity there.
Read full storyLetters to TheSpoof.com. April 20, 2007.
Sirs: I just want you to know why I was voted off American Idol two weeks ago. It was Ryan's fault! The...
Read full storyJudge Seidlin says Hillary DNA tests positive as Larry Birkhead's birth mother
Florida - (Ass Mess): Florida Judge Larry Seidlin says recent DNA tests have confirmed that Larry Birkhead, father of maybe-baby heiress Dannielynn, is Hillary Cliton's son.
Read full storyMissing Karl Rove Email Discovered
From: Karl Rove Sent: October 20, 2004 12:20:07 AM...
Read full storyAll Cats Go To...Well, Not Heaven
My wife has her cats. She loves her cats. The cats love...themselves and about nothing else. No, I'm not a cat person.
Read full storySimon Cowell Insults Virginia Victims
American Idol judge Simon Cowle is at the centre of a row over the disrespect he showed to the victims of the Virginia shootings.
Read full storyBush Uses VA. Tech Shootings to Expand War on Terror
President Bush today linked Iran to the shootings earlier this week at Virginia Tech. Speaking from the Oval Office, Bush detailed how he believes Iran is responsible and what action America should take.
Read full storyThe case of Simon Cowell, the weeping Idol contestant, and the AK47
A shocking report just came from the studio of American Idol in Beverly Hills, California. Simon Cowell, one of the judges of the popular talent show, reportedly took out an AK47 machine gun and fired repeatedly at a contestant.
Read full storyFamous Psychic Predicted Virginia Tech Massacre
NaNa the Psychic Advisor from Tucson, Az claims to have foreseen the latest school mass murder.
Read full storyStallWall.scrawl: The April edition
For a goodtime, call Scooter - I got prison experience!...
Read full story'Zack and Cody' star new spokesperson of Gillette
In a recent press conference, Dylan Sprouse excitedly revealed his new contract with Gillette, world-renown grooming products company.
Read full storyVideo games have more control over our lives, MIT researchers find
The latest gamivideo games may have played a more significant part of our lives, results show from the much praised research programme headed by MIT.
Read full storyDear Paraphernalia4Your Genitalia: The Virginity Monologues
Dear P4YG, I have been a faithful participant in an abstinence only Christian youth group since I have been ten years old. My father wh...
Read full storyPoor Dick's Almanac, Part IV
You may think, perhaps, that a little tea, or a little punch or a tiny lay now and then, diet a little more costly, clothes a little...
Read full storySenor Abril Rocks Baseball World
Yankee fans have known the incredible exploits of Mr October, their own Reggie Jackson who finished season after season with post-season exploits that wowed the crowds and humbled Yankee opponents. In the 2000 championship series then young Derek Jet...
Read full storyTrillions of Sports Dollars Will Be Spent For Real Needs
In a sea change the size of a worldwide tsunami, sports billionaires are joining together to devote their riches to helping real people with food, housing, education and employment. Nearly every ball player in the business has come to realize that th...
Read full storyPope's Furs Come to Life!
Catholics are always boasting about miracles and resurrections but none expected the ermine stole of Benedict xvi to begin squirming around the solemn pontiffuerer's neck at Quadriggesima Sunday mass! A week later while Papa Ratzy hugged and bles...
Read full storyCandidates Step Up to Demand Gun Control in the Turbulent Wake of VT Massacre
Candidates for both parties' nominations have shocked the nation by their brave insistence that America abandon its gun culture once and for all. Republican McCain demanded in a post 4-17-07 campaign speech that we must stop the killings while st...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Prompts Threat Level Increase
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security increased the nation's threat level to "Lavender" following the elimination of Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol Tuesday night.
Read full storyCheney Learns where Babies Come From
EP (Exasperated Press) - Today, Dick Cheney found out where babies come from. You could see the glee in his eyes as he touched his alleged daughter's belly and listened for noises.
Read full storyBoots Accused Of "High Street Chemical Warfare"
Pharmaceutical giant Boots the Chemist has today denied claims that they are using underhand methods to attract customers.
Read full storyNixon Rolls Over then Rises From Grave
When the Archangel Michael reached Heaven with news that people were comparing George W. Bush to Richard M. Nixon, the late Richard Nixon rolled over in his grave, then rose from the dead to protest the matter.
Read full storyTony Blair Criticizes Fat People
LONDON (ASP) - Today, Prime Minister Tony Blair adopted U.S. President George Bush's strategy to reduce self-image in the country. The AFP headline released was: "Morbidly obese: bigger Britons need fatter furnaces"...
Read full storyNude Kate Middleton shots to go under the hammer
London - (Ass Mess): In the ultimate two-fingers-up-yours gesture to Prince Wiliam and the Royal Family Kate Middleton is to auction nude pictures of herself next month.
Read full storyOld people should be tracked by satellite
London - (Rotters): The UK charity Age Concern says that satellite tracking should be used to allow families to monitor elderly relatives, especially those with a tendency to impose themselves on foreign countries on the pretext of yet another totall...
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