Simon Cowell denies insult/everything - ever!

Funny story written by matthatt

Thursday, 19 April 2007


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Mr Cowell coming up with new ideas for future contestant based game shows.

Simon Cowell, purveyor of soulless, bland lift music, who uses disparaging remarks about anything he isn't personally involved in to make it seem less good than the banal trash that pukes it's way from the ass end of his own music machine, has been accused of taking recent heavyweight issues in the news too lightly.

He was caught on camera, during a quick cut away shot, raising his eyes to heaven as one contestant paid tribute to the Virginia tech campus tragedy, on the world famous music game show type thing that he does.

Earlier in the week he was seen enjoying a quite lo-fat decaf Soya latte with sweet 'n' low in Beverly Hills whilst a suicide bomber struck in Iraq.

Last month, it had been noted that the high trousered one had played tennis, as several people had been gunned down in Afghanistan; eye witnesses say "he didn't even stop playing; It appears that Mr Cowell is a cruel, heartless man"

Another witness claimed that media vampire "has so little care for anything or anyone that he wasn't even moved when baby Knut was threatened with termination at Berlin zoo, what kind of man can carry on having sex with his beautiful, pert and dusky skinned girlfriend when the world is quite literally going to hell in a hand basket?"

He may be well known for his sharp televised put downs, but it is becoming increasingly apparent that he is actually like this in real life and it goes down to the bone, he is a bad'un through and through, as well as being a bit of a tosser.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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