Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 19 April 2007

image for Baby Knut death threats from Heather Mills
Heather Mills behind death threats to little Knut?

Berlin - (Rotters): Police are investigating claims that notorious animal rights activist Heather Mills is behind death threats to Berlin Zoo's star exhibit Knut, the little bi-polar bear that fanatics claim should have been put down after being rejected by his mother.

The Zoo received a fax today saying the little abandoned cub would 'die at noon today' and immediately ordered round the clock police protection for the little champ.

Interpol has also been summoned and asked to investigate whether there could be any connection to those pesky Iranian fundamentalists who may be twiddling their thumbs waiting for headlines after dumping the UK sailor hostages as a negative for their international TV ratings.

And in the Vatican Pope Joseph Ratzinger has been asked to say a special Mass at the Vatican for Knut's safety and well-being.

"We are hoping the Holy Farter will be visiting little Knut sometime in the Summer for a photo-op commissioned by Halo! magazine," said a Zoo spokesman.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Heather Mills, Knut




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