There were 132 spoof news stories published in September 2006. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Pope Benedict Converts to Islam
VATICAN CITY -- Pope Benedict's speech last week, which the Muslim world took to condemn Islam for violence, set off a whole series of riots, church burnings and the murder of a nun. The Pope, following multiple failed apologies for his words, a...
Read full storyFDA warns of the dangers of excessive nose picking
Seattle, Washington - Jason Peters had a habit. It wasn't a very nice habit. His mother told him to use a Kleenex, but he just wouldn't listen. Unlike the nursery rhyme, when he stuck in his thumb he didn't get a plum... he got his own eyeball.
Read full storyFord Announces Water-Powered Automobile
DETROIT, Mich.. -- The Ford Motor Company, in conjunction with Hydrolytics, Inc., announced today that they have produced, in a unprecedented engineering feat, a water-powered car that could end America's dependence on foreign petroleum for vehic...
Read full storyPopeye The Sailor Man Panicked by Spinach Recall
As the U.S. recalls bagged spinach due to an E. coli scare, Popeye The Sailor Man is in a state of total panic. Friends are trying to get him interested in carrots, but so far it's a no go. "How can I live without spinach?" he asks.
Read full storyCisco Merges with Crisco to Produce the Slickest High-Tech Products Ever Seen
SAN JOSE, Calif. and ORRVILLE, Oh. -- Cisco Systems®, the leading supplier of networking equipment, and Crisco® Oils and Shortenings, a spin-off from The J.M. Smucker Company, announced today the world's first merger between a fat-based food-prod...
Read full storyLego Announces Plans to Start Making Prosthetic Limbs
Earlier this week the president of LEGO America, Søren Torp Laursen, announced a plan to have new LEGO prosthetic limbs on the US market by October 2008, and the global market by December 2008. They have already produced proto-types, and say their ne...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Acknowledges That He is "The Devil"
WASHINGTON (AP)-Days after Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called President George W. Bush "the devil" during a speech to the United Nations, an accusation Chavez repeated on Thursday at a church in Harlem, Bush publicly revealed that he is indeed T...
Read full storyBush and Congress Unite to Have Mexicans Help United States to Solve "Mexican Problem"
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President George W. Bush will sign the bill passed today by the U.S. Congress to build a wall along the entire U.S. and Mexico border. Support for the law was bipartisan and nearly unanimous as the National Border Defense and Undo...
Read full storyGeorge Hamilton Receives His Own Hamilton Prize, the Nation's Highest Skin Cancer Award
TAMPA BAY, Fla. -- The American Academy of Dermatology Association (AADA) and International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS) together have awarded their first-ever distinguished presidential citation lifetime achievement award to actor an...
Read full storyBloggers Uncover Lebanon War Fraud
ALTOONA, Penn. -- In the wake of the United Nation's Security Council resolution to end the war in Lebanon, some fear the root cause of the war may be lost. The war was the result of geographical fraud, according to a report produced by a virtua...
Read full storyVeggieTales Censored: NBC Cuts "Dangerous" Idea
NEW YORK -- Today NBC further explained why it edited, censored their critics say, some episodes of "VeggieTales," a popular children's series that has just begun airing on NBC Saturday mornings.
Read full storyRJR Nabisco Ordered to Stop Making Crackers
EAST HANOVER, N.J. - RJR Nabisco was ordered today by the Superior Court of New Jersey to immediately "cease and desist making and selling crackers and cracker-like snacks."...
Read full storyPope's Cartoons Not Meant To Cause Offence To Islam
The Vatican has denied that Pope Benedict XVI intended any offence to Muslims after he sketched a series of lighthearted Islamic-based cartoons including one depicting the Prophet Muhammad wearing a revealing mini-skirt and sporting a funny moustache...
Read full storyCheney Shooting No Accident: VP Was After Quayle
CORPUS CHRISTI, Tex. -- Just when the pundits thought vice president Dick Cheney's "accidental shooting" of Texas attorney and Cheney friend Harry Whittington had faded from view, former CBS newsman Dan Rather has come out of retirement...
Read full storyHaley Joel Osment to Enter Ford Clinic
GLENDALE, Calif. -- Haley Joel Osment is checking into the Ford Clinic, following his July 28th arrest stemming from a July 20th accident. The single-car accident occurred at about 1 a.m. as Osment was driving home alone, struck a mailbox and flippe...
Read full storyDoherty set to join local politics
PETE Doherty has outlined his latest plan to prove to the world once and for all that his hell-raising ways are behind him - by applying to join Tetbury Upton Parish Council.
Read full story9/11 Doormat - as demonstrated by President G.W.Bush
NYC, September 11, 2006 In an extraordinary sales pitch on the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on New York City and the Pentagon, President George W. Bush announced the introduction of the "9/11 Doormat", the proceeds of w...
Read full storyTerrell Owens' Injury Was "Not Football Related," says HBO's Bryant Gumbel
IRVING, Texas -- Terrell Owens' hamstring injury, which kept him out of full practice for most of the preseason, was not, as previously thought, football related, Bryant Gumbel will report next Tuesday on HBO's "Real Sports."
Read full storyGeorge Bush Reveals White House Has Dungeons and Torture Rooms
WASHINGTON (AP)--President George Bush on Wednesday acknowledged the existence of secret US prisons run by the CIA where innocent people are regularly tortured and denied all legal rights. In a further shocking admission, he also revealed that his ow...
Read full storyMartians Watch As NASA Builds a Spaceship Bound for Mars
"The Earthlings are coming, the Earthlings are coming," Marcy Martian screamed to her husband Marvin, when she looked through their EarthSpy camera on Mars and saw that NASA had contracted (a multibillion-dollar contract!) with Lockheed Mar...
Read full storyLivingstone brokers cheap crack cocaine deal for London
City Hall, London - (AssoCIAted Mess): In a landmark trade deal London Mayor Ken Livingstone has secured a five year contract to supply cheap Venezuelan crack cocaine to the capital following months of delicate wrangling with President Hugo Chavez...
Read full storyTemporary Spanish-American War Tax Repeal Fails; Congress Votes to Attack Spain
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- U.S. Congress voted today to declare war on Spain.
Read full storyNBC in Compromise Between Catholic Church and Madonna to Broadcast Actual Crucifixion
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- NBC said today that it has come to a compromise between Madonna and religious leaders offended by her "climbing on a cross" during the scheduled broadcast of a concert from her "Confessions" tour. Rather th...
Read full storyGovernment to open "New Labour" camps.
The government today announced plans for the establishment of a series of "New Labour Camps" to help the disadvantaged and the dissentious.
Read full storyFiles reveal Mountbatten's daughter as Brown's birth mother
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Classified records released under the UK's 9/11 Freedom of Disinformation Act have revealed the shockingh truth behind Chancellor Gordon Brown's true parentage and name the Earl of Mountbatten's daughter Patri...
Read full storyPope Insults Islam in Germany
BAVARIA (Reuters) -- Pope Benedict has deeply offended Islam and harmed worldwide religious harmony according to government and religious leaders in the world's most populous Muslim countries, Indonesia and Pakistan.
Read full storyUS Air Force implements "Smart Card Logon" for aircraft, missiles
All U.S. Air Force pilots will soon be required to use Common Access Cards, or "smart cards," to log on to aircraft and missiles. USAF is moving away from unsecure access in an effort to thwart saboteurs and terrorists from putting critica...
Read full storyBush No Stranger to Arab Sensitivities
White House spokesman Tony Snow informed us recently that Bush enjoyed his 10-day vacation from Washington and had made quick work of the Algerian-born writer's Albert Camus’ 1946 novel The Stranger. While some may not consider that notion peculiar, most college students who have ever read this in literature class can testify that there is no such thing as “quick work” of The Strang...
Read full story"Black Hole Factory" To Destroy Planet Earth
GENEVA (Reuters)--Mad scientists will generate a black hole every second when the world's most powerful particle accelerator comes online here in 2007, and one of them will eventually gobble up planet Earth, acknowledges the project's creator Dr.
Read full storyRatzinger's fugitive hitman Caldarelli busted
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Police investigating the fraud, embezzlement and extortion paper trail of Culture Secretary Tessa Jowl's shyster-lawyer husband David 'Dark Satanic' Mills have arrested a fugitive Sicilian mobster Raffaele Cal...
Read full storyBush Blames Global Warming on Commie Gas
Upon hearing the news report that read "Methane, a gas 20 times more potent than carbon dioxide in trapping heat in the atmosphere, appears to be bubbling up from thawing permafrost at a rate five times faster than originally measured, scientists...
Read full story1-1 half-time score in Papal slanging match
Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The "evil and inhuman things" slanging match war of words between the Pope and the Islamic world has equalised today with the half-time score standing at one all following the publication of official UK St...
Read full storyDemocrats and Republicans Unite to Warn Viewers of Sex and Violence on TV
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A bipartisan coalition of Democrats and Republicans, both in and out of office, have united to stop what they call the "rampant excesses of sex and violence on television."...
Read full storyFrederico The Fruit Wrangler
Once upon a time there was a boy named Frederico. A gangling, nervous dude who could barely tell you his name, without st-st-stuttering and stammering. Most nights while the other children played and ran, he sat in his room and conquered the world in a video game. Frederico was a lonely boy. At school he had no friends because he had no skills, other boys had musical talent or kung fu, some...
Read full storyPresident of Iran Says He Is The Man
Elyssian Fields, Iran---The President of Iran has declared He Is The Man.
Read full storyVenezuelan President Chavez's Vitriolic Blasts Rallies America Around Embattled Leader
NEW YORK -- While Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's United Nations address was greeted with warm applause by many diplomats in the chamber, the reaction from America has been a little hotter as Americans have rallied around their own following C...
Read full storyTourettes increase 'a mystery'
REPORTED cases of Tourettes Syndrome in schoolchildren in the UK have increased by at least 2500 percent over the summer period, according to the Office for National Statistics.
Read full storyBush's Roosevelt/Truman taunt prompts Karmic payback
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess & ReUterus): In a desperate "bring 'em on" over-reaction to continued Senate fury over the White House's espousal of torture as a legitimate tool for fooling the American electorate, George W Bush t...
Read full storyDeath of Bush movie shocks TheoCons
London - (Associated Mess): A British-made film predicting the November 2006 assassination of the world's all-time No 1 slimeball and P2 Lodge-hired presidential impersonator George W Bush is threatening to wreak havoc among middle America's...
Read full story‘Croc Hunter' Steve Irwin Resurrected After Wrestling God; Puts God on Display at Australia Zoo
Queensland , Australia. An excited and giddy Steve ‘Croc Hunter' Irwin returned to life Saturday after being dead since September 4th, 2006. Irwin, who passed away due to a freak accident while filming a segment for a documentary involving interact...
Read full storyTerror probe cops eye the Con in Conran
London - (Associated Mess): Officers of the Metropolitan Police's Anti-Terrorist Branch have issued a statement naming London greasy-spoon cafe proprietor and serial self-publicist Terence Conran as their John Major number one head of UK organi...
Read full storyBush Deploys Troops to United Nations
The White House announced early this evening that President George W. Bush today deployed troops to the United Nations. Citing unrest and the harboring of WMD's (Weapons of Mass Delusion), President Bush brought down the full fury of the United S...
Read full storyThe Redneck Demographic Shift
DALLAS, TEXAS. Figures released by the Census Bureau show rednecks are now the single largest stereotyped Caucasian group in the United States. Rednecks make up 18 percent of the U.S. Population, edging past hillbillies at 15 percent.
Read full storyCrocodile Hunter's Stingray Strikes Again
Miami -- Florida officials are still unsure if the stingray that killed the Crocodile Hunter is the same stingray that yesterday flung a stinger 6 feet straight up the xyz of Miami swimmer Kyle Witherspoon's .. xyz .. the "xyz" referri...
Read full storyBarney, First Dog, Terrier Stricken
Washington, DC - The administration will crank up its war on terrier at the behest of Barney, the presidential Scottie, who has disavowed his terrier heritage, his "terriosity," as Tony Snow (former Pit Bull terrier, now claiming to be a Whippet houn...
Read full storyThe Ned and Tom Lamont Family Business History
Press Room, Cheshire-Corrigan-Radgowski State Facility, Connecticut---Ned Lamont explains his family's history in politics, the taking of the gifts of others and the giving away of the farm (not his) and the free advice behind his family tree relati...
Read full storyBaby Boomer Mom Does Water Ballet in Sinkhole
While the U. S. government was recently releasing statistics indicating that illicit drug use was on the rise among baby boomers 50 to 59 and on the decline among young teenagers, Barbara Boomer and her daughter were providing living proof of those s...
Read full storyDoobage in Space
Way High - TheSpoof! readers may be celebrating my scoop on the recent "pot-like odor" incident on board the ISS (See: ISS Buzz Ruined) in which my scoop scooped everybody (nyah nyah) on the scoop of the century. Not to put too fine a p...
Read full storyDisney-ABC to take over Washington DC
Hard on the heels of their controversial "docudrama", which has almost universally been seen as inaccurately portraying the Clinton administration's response to acts of terrorism perpetrated by al Qaeda, Disney is attempting to redress...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Sets Example for Commitment-phobic Guys
With his good looks, talent, and charming ways, Brad Pitt has long been a favorite of the ladies. His recent statement, "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," h...
Read full storyHP Admits to Congress That Execs Don't Know Common Word Meanings
Washington, D.C. - Revelations flooded the (tender?) ears of members of a House subcommittee (and C-SPAN addicts) during a hearing to investigate Hewlett-Packard's spying activities. Not since Watergate have we witnessed covert operations like this.
Read full storyLorry drivers hit with EU waste targets
LORRY drivers will be hit with waste disposal targets from the EU as part of the UK's recycling program.
Read full storyBlair's 'Sign of the Beast' : W is for.......?
London - (Associated Mess): It rhymes with 'banker'. That is the official verdict of political anal-lists all over the world as the controversy mounts in the UK press regarding the mysterious 'W' that has appeared on the Prime Monste...
Read full storyBlair Says He Will Quit As Soon As Season 7 Of The Golden Girls Is Released On DVD
Tony Blair has confirmed that he will step down as prime minister of Great Britain as soon as the seventh and final series of his all time favourite sitcom, The Golden Girls, is released on DVD.
Read full storyLou Dobbs Beats the Living Crap out of Bill O'Reilly
(CeLebNewZ) - In what can only be described as an ole' geezer's rumble, witnesses at CNN's Atlanta studios say that real life "crap" was indeed beaten out of Bill O'Reilly by Lou Dobbs after O'Reilly, on air called Dobbs...
Read full storyPresident Bush Cancels November Election
Assured he would definitely lose his Republican majority in both the House and the Senate with the upcoming November election, President Bush canceled the election. Sighting that we're at war and the enemy wants to get us, Bush announced al-Qae...
Read full storyUS Congress Is Solution to World Energy Crisis
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Enron, the world's largest natural gas company, today announced during a public ceremony tapping the Capitol Dome that it has solved the world energy crisis. "Our latest tests show that the Capitol produces more natural...
Read full storyCamilla pregnancy rumors: Charles buys Vlad the Impaler's ancestral pile
Clarence House, London - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): The Pretender to the Throne has bought a Transylvanian bijou cottage that once belonged to his ancestor Vlad the Impaler and is renovating it in time for Camilla's confinement there next sum...
Read full storyReluctant Woods Plays Pass-The-Parcel With Ryder Team-mates
World number one Tiger Woods was forced to play pass-the-parcel with his team-mates as part of a US bonding exercise, despite his best efforts to avoid the game, commonly played at children's parties.
Read full storyRatzinger to pray for Blair miracle
Downing Street, London SW1 1AA - (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's wife Cherry Bush QC has flown to the Vatican to beg the Pope to pray for a miracle to save her disaster-struck husband who faces the gallows for treason at the end of the we...
Read full storyThe Pope Launches Catholic Lite
In the latest attempt to stem the continuing decline in church attendances, the Pope has launched the Catholic Lite initiative. Catholic Lite is aimed at those who would like to be committed Catholics but when faced with attending Mass every Sunday,...
Read full storyBush Announces Outsourcing of US Supreme Court
George Bush announced, on Tuesday, that, in an era of high budget deficits, it will be necessary to take drastic steps to cut costs. The first step in reducing government spending, will be to outsource all judicial functions of the Supreme Court...
Read full storyBungs-for-Peerages probe cops find Blair smoking gun
London - (AssocCIAted Mess): Police officers from the Met's Anti-Corruption Unit have given their strongest hint yet that they have found the smoking gun they need to bust the lame duck Prime Monster in their investigation of the bungs-for-peera...
Read full storyHearts 'N' Minds: Bush hires Ratzinger's spin doctors
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): President Bush is said to be so impressed by the Vatican's astonishingly succcessful PR campaign last week which culminated in Pope Ratzinger's seminal remarks on inter-faith ecumenism that he has hired pont...
Read full storyEliot Spitzer Promises To Make Jobs
Attica, New York---Eliot Spitzer, the outgoing Attorney General, has begun a whirlwind tour of New York State promising meaningful jobs, free taxes, free benefits, and, of course, Free Willie as he makes an airtight case for himself to become Governo...
Read full storyBush to replace Blair as the British Prime Minister
The House of Commons was rocked to its democratic foundations, today, when the war-loving British Prime Minister announced that George W Bush would replace him when he retires on May 6th 2007.
Read full storyLibocrats' Idological Vacuum Confirmed
BETHESDA, MD-theSPOOF! (Exclusive)- Doctors at the National Institutes of Health revealed today the results of a decade long study into why libocrats (term for a mutation created by the incestuous intermingling of liberals and democrats) are a...
Read full storyRussian Firm Introduces New Lower-Cost Treatment for Mental Disorders
Moscow-based health-care giant, Miasnikov Healtech, recently announced the public availability of BBT, an advanced lower-cost form of mental health treatment. Studies have shown that BBT is effective in reduction of symptoms of Clinical Depression, B...
Read full storyHeathrow 's Fly Zone Theme Park Up And Running
London - Ever ready to outdo itself, Heathrow management has taken a page from Disney's book, pulled the plug on boring mega-waits and turned its "security features" into attractions.
Read full storyAre you crazy?
Are you crazy? Take the TeenScreen suicide test, and most likely you are. Designed, with government and Big Pharma backing and funding to penetrate society from a young age, Teen Screen is a catch all for any "mental disease", such as bitin...
Read full storyHillary Clinton To Give White House Tours
A well known location somewhere here on Earth---Hillary Clinton is going to begin giving tours of the White House, her once and future home, to all comers, domestic and foreign..
Read full storyBlair's dermatologist gobsmacked by bungs arrest
London - (Associated Mess): The bungs for peerages corruption probe took a sinister twist last night with the arrest of the Prime Monster's personal skin doctor Sir Christopher Bung Evans, founder of Merlin Bioscams and notorious donor to most UK po...
Read full storyAs Safe as Swimming with Sting Rays
With what can only be called poor timing drug maker Merck's CEO Johnston S. Phillips said Vioxx was no more dangerous then swimming with a sting ray.
Read full storyAlbright slams 1999 NATO 9/11 intelligence briefing footage
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): In an empassionated plea ahead of the fifth anniversary of 9/11, former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright has begged for leniency to prevail as NATO military intelligence's directorate releases its archi...
Read full storyDumbo Supports Spray-Painting of Elephants
Senior citizen Dumbo, his huge ears and big smile intact, held a press conference on the porch of his Los Angeles home yesterday to announce his support of the spray-painting of elephants. "A pox on those who prevent it," he said. Dumbo c...
Read full storyPoland sends in crack team to boost NATO Afghan forces
Warsaw - (Associated Mess): The Polish Ministry of Defense has announced that it will be sending in a crack regiment of Hussars as its contribution to the depleted NATO forces fighting Taleban smack cartels in Afghanistan.
Read full storyISS Buzz Ruined?
Outta Sight! - The Space Station crew scrambled to find the source of an odd (though not unfamiliar, apparently) odor that, according to most, was "WAY like Mary Jane." NASA spokesperson Jamerson Johns then scrambled to quash rumors.
Read full storyCannabis downgrade 'was essential for Iraq war bankrolling' by student tuition fees
London - (Associated Mess): Official: the war for Hearts 'N' Minds began in the UK with the downgrade of the cannabis legal classification which Tony Blair saw as essential for bankrolling Iraqi war costs through the 2003 imposition of studen...
Read full storySegway Injuries Linked to Childhood Obesity, Smoking, Clinton…
Bedford, NH -- A highly placed manager in the company has told this reporter that - after the most recent recall has died down - Segway has a new plan for handling any software problems associated with the popular (and first-born priced) transporter...
Read full story"Corporation Hunter" Dies As He Lived
Los Angeles, America -- Michael Moore died doing what he loved best, getting too close to one of the multi-billionaire CEOs he dedicated his life to hounding.
Read full storyBush administration to televise torture sessions
WASHINGTON, DC, Tuesday In an extraordinary move designed to allay the fears of the American people that the United States will not be condoning torture as it becomes the first major nation to abandon the century-old Geneva Convention guarant...
Read full storyTop Russian banker shot dead: a case of assisted suicide?
Moscow - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Central Bank of the Russian Federation's First Deputy Chairman Andrej Kozlov, has been gunned down in a Moscow sports park amid intense media speculation that his death may be yet another clear case of assisted su...
Read full storyWho's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?
Baghdad, Iraq and London, England---Once upon a time in a far away land that was not easy to find with a bright searchlight and a high road map that depicted a far forbidding forest that was overrun with weed, rocks and rolls and unwelcome agricultur...
Read full storyOpus Dei campaign pledges to stamp out satire
New York, New York - (Associated Mess): A new campaign to raise hundreds of millions of dollars has been launched by TheoCon self-mortification enthusiasts of the Opus Dei Foundation in a concerted effort to combat satirical sites that lampoon the...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Compares Islamic Freedom Fighters to Neoconservatives
SALT LAKE CITY (Reuters)--President George W. Bush on Thursday predicted an unending war on terror at a time of increasing public anxiety at home, while likening the struggle against Islamic fundamentalism with the fight against Nazis, Communists, an...
Read full storyRed-headed Mice Help the Neglected Tan Obsessed
BOSTON (Routers) - Scientists have devised a devilish new way to prevent sunburn and its skin-hating effects. No longer will progeny of the Caucasoid peoples have to slather on nasty goop that readily washes off with tears, ruining that wonderful day...
Read full storyMerger of Air America with American Airlines to Form Left-Wing Airline Fails
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Air America Radio, the liberal talk show network currently facing bankruptcy and which was attempting to merge with American Airlines, announced today the merger talks had halted. The merger would have created the world's firs...
Read full storyColon Bowel slams Bush's attempt to suborn Congress
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): Former US Secretary of State General Colon Bowel has slammed his former boss George Bush's efforts to blackmail the Senate to vote-in continued Guantanamo Bay's IRA-style internment for beardie Taleban sma...
Read full storyDonald Rumsfeld to be Shot out of a Cannon
D.C. -- In a daring show of support and solidarity for our troops Donald Rumsfeld agreed to get SHOT out of a cannon over the edge of a U.S. Naval aircraft carrier into the middle of the Red Sea next week. Surprisingly many members of Congress...
Read full storyStraw Man: 'It's Quits!'
London - Once thought to be a figure of speech, the internationally known but never before actually seen Straw Man (his chosen name) has come to the fore to rectify his demonization.
Read full storyHillary Clinton Talks About Being A Team Player
The Playboy Mansion---Hillary Clinton has inveigled her weight into the current political debate by running and offering to sling as much slime as it takes to stake her point.
Read full storyAutumn equinox unleashes Hellfire Club dread
London - (Associated Mess): Despite myriad occult rites throughout the United Kingdom yesterday invoking the legendary supernatural powers of the autumn equinox, senior grandees of the Hellfire Club are reported as powerless to stop the predicted ti...
Read full storyBlair & Brown The New Charles & Di
In a week that the fairytale dreams of the nation crumbled before tear moistened eyes, we look back with fondness on this love that dare not speak its name.
Read full storyPresident Clinton gets Ticked off again, Trashes Starbucks
(LITTLE ROCK) - Little Rock police say that former President Clinton was arrested yesterday NOT because he single-handedly destroyed a Starbucks but because "after" trashing the place Clinton knowingly and willingly, still ticked the heck...
Read full storyBush: "I ain't done with harming the United States"
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): In a keynote address to the Senate yesterday, the head of the global organised crime cartel a.k.a. President George Bush Junior warned that he and the Bush Administration at Number 10 Downing Street in London were...
Read full storyBlair installs 'ATMs for Jesus'-style cash machines for wannabee peers
London, UK - (Associated Mess): Impressed by the success of the novel way in which traditional Sunday collection plates at US churches and places of worship have been replaced by the Jesus ATMs, UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has decided to by-pass th...
Read full storyPopeye to meet Muslin leaders
NEW YORK September 25 - After his recent speech apparently denigrating the qualities of soft materials which have a good handfeel and which can be made into fashionably shapeless 1960's style shirts and skirts, Popeye has declared that he was misunde...
Read full storyLabour sperm donor cops quiz Blair's gatekeeper
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The bungs-for peerages corrpution probe that saw the arrest last week of serial political sperm donor Sir Christopher Evans of Merlin Bioscams has quizzed the Prime Monster's offical gatekeeper Ruth Turner.
Read full storyTerror report slams Bushes
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): The National Intelligence Estimate's eagerly-awaited report into the War Against Terra has concluded that the Bush Family Evil Empire has been a "cause celebre for jihadists" ever since the day when CI...
Read full storyTony Blair Resigns to Join Cameron's Conservatives
In a move that has completely stunned the nation, UK Prime Minister Tony Blair has resigned and walked across the floor of the House of Commons to join the Conservative Party.
Read full storyLunar eclipse bodes ill for Downing Street fascists
Stonehenge, Salisbury Plain - (Associated Mess) As today's eclipsed full moon in the sign of Pisces rose over the ancient megaliths of Stonehenge, a shiver of grim certainty gripped the United Kingdom that a foul cabbal of Hell Fire Club crimi...
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