Written by Evan Essence

Friday, 15 September 2006

image for Bush Announces Outsourcing of US Supreme Court
American Democracy has been Shanghaied…

George Bush announced, on Tuesday, that, in an era of high budget deficits, it will be necessary to take drastic steps to cut costs. The first step in reducing government spending, will be to outsource all judicial functions of the Supreme Court...which can be carried out at a much lower cost by highly educated judges in mainland China.

A recent study shows that the salaries of US Supreme Court Justices range from $193,000 to $203,000/year, whereas a Chinese court justice can be bought for less than $1,000/year.

The outsourcing announcement followed the failure of Senate Republicans to grant Bush his deepest desire....the right to torment and torture terror suspects, without trial, at Guantanamo Bay, in violation of U.S. law and the international Geneva Conventions.

In June, the Supreme Court rejected the Guantanamo Bay tribunal system set up by Bush, stating that Bush must wait until after Congress passes new legislation authorizing the violation of International Law. Bush had hoped to use the War Crimes trials, as a pre-election gambit to stir up the public fear and patriotic hoo-haw, however, the Republican Congress...afraid that they might, themsleves be put on trial for War Crimes, if they proceeded to violate International Law...has decided to wait until after the election, when it is hoped that the public will be too timid and complacent to speak out against pure and unadulterated fascism.

Harvard professor of political science, Barney Hampton, remarked "The Hallmark of the Bush Administration, has been his repeated assertion of his right to ignore the Constitution and International Law." He added, "Bush had tried repeatedly to stack the Supreme Court, so he was dismayed that some on the Court still insisted that he must obey the Constitution."

An additional concern, for Republicans, is that a US Federal Court has determined that Bush's use of warantless wiretaps is illegal. It will soon become the responsibility of the Supreme Court to decide whether our 200 years of Freedom, based on the Rule of Law, and not on the will of any one man, should be discarded so Bush can enjoy absolute power.

Dick Cheney suggested that it would be valuable to outsource the Supreme Court to a society that understands the value of absolute executive authority. He noted, that the authoritarian model of the Chinese government, may be more conducive to an efficient capitalist economy, than our confusing form of government based on elections, in which the population is periodically forced to make decisions on matters that they know nothing about.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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