Written by TomFoolery

Tuesday, 26 September 2006

image for Libocrats' Idological Vacuum Confirmed
Plenty of Room for an Implant!

BETHESDA, MD-theSPOOF! (Exclusive)- Doctors at the National Institutes of Health revealed today the results of a decade long study into why libocrats (term for a mutation created by the incestuous intermingling of liberals and democrats) are always at a loss when asked the simple question, "What are you thinking?"

Using every modern medical marvel to unravel this pesky political poser, every single exploratory examination of libocrats both living and dead proved equally identical.: absolutely no brain activity found. Doctors were at once astounded and astonished at the findings repeated over and over and over again. How could they have spent so much time, wasted so much money and needlessly squandered valuable resources just to find out what they already knew?? If you open up a libocrat's cranium, what you find is….well, NOTHING!!

I guess that's why it has been so easy over the years for libocrats to succeed in having the deceased among them show up on voting rolls at polling places across the country. That also explains why libocrats seemingly empty promises and lack of ideas constantly and consistently flood the media. And, when you come to think-THINK-of it, it's no wonder, when confronted with issues affecting the security and welfare of our citizens and our country, libocrats singularly and unanimously lament, "The thought never crossed my mind!" Well….DUHHHHH!!!

While the physicians, chemists and engineers engaged in the protracted project predict an eventual evolutionary event that will trigger brain growth in future libocrat generations, the near term is branded as bleak. Geneticists strongly suggest that extinction is in the offing: if the libocrats themselves don't die off from EHS (Empty Head Symdrome), they will so infect the normal population of the country that we'll simply scare ourselves to death. But it's up to those of us WITH brains to carry on while we can. It's rather obvious that the libocrats are oblivious of their plight and the plight of our country because of their totally treacherous thoughtlessness.

Thankfully, though, there is one non-negative to the whole libocrat lack-o-logic: if you give one a penny for his/her thoughts, you're likely to get a nickel back without a first OR second thought!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Health, Democrats

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
65 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more