Prince Andrew Has Decided To Go And Live On Pitcairn Island
Prince Andrew, the poor, beleaguered member of the Royal family who the media just won't leave alone after he indulged in 'a bit of the old in-out' with an underaged American girl in 2001, has decided that enough is enough, and that he will leave Lon...
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Trump: The NHS Is Safe
If you’re wondering why a chill has just ran down the backs of all the female members of your family, wonder no more! Dementia-ridden reality TV star turned president, Donald Trump, is in the UK! As usual Donald has had plenty to shout about as he ma...
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Prince Andrew in new, one-armed bandit row
Prince Andrew has claimed that photos of him cuddling various women may have been doctored because, as far as he can remember, he lost an arm in the Falklands War. The Prince said that he leads a very busy life, and, therefore, cannot keep track o...
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Chinese In Bid To Buy Royal Family
[AP, Chipping Sodbury] It was revealed today that a Chinese investment consortium is attempting to buy the British Royal Family. Wun Hung Lo, acquisitions representative for the Happy Lucky Investment Company number 4 based in Long Dong province of n...
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Parasites on Parade
The latest report from our weeki leeks correspondent, the mole in royal circles. When asked about his contribution to comic relief, William (playboy) Windsor replied in jocular fashion. "I wiped my arse on last weeks Beano." Apparently he still has it delivered every week along with the Dandy and to think that someday he might have the top job. Let us hope that he doesn't have the dreaded royal...
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Harry to join Top Gear
BBC insiders have revealed that Prince Harry is in negotiations to join the Top Gear team as a presenter. The move is due to the impending departure of Paddy McGuiness. Paddy is understood to be leaving in order to reprise his roll as Paddy in th...
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Brexit Causing Palace Staffing Crisis
Prince William's rowdy university buddy Gaz turns up at door, spends night on couch
Prince Philip Funeral Plans Found In Gents Toilet On Hampstead Heath
Prince William 'loses his marbles' at Sandhurst
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Both Thrilled That Queen Elizabeth Did Not Have Them Deported To Siberia
Princess Diana Inquest Gets Even More Unnecessarily Gory
Anger as Harry and Meghan ghost the Queen
Royal Prince Shuns Danger Role
Royal Family To Go Out For Christmas Dinner
German Aristocrat Plunges To His Death One Month Too Early, Say Police
Royal Body language experts determine Prince George will grow to be expert at pooping, crying
Rock & Royal for Jubilee
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Say Good Riddance to the World of Royalty
LOS ANGELES – Well Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are now no longer considered royalty. Queen Elizabeth has stripped them of their Buckingham Palace titles and amenities including their royal name tags. The lovely couple will now be known simply a...
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Prince Andrew Impassive Over Jeffrey Epstein Death
The death in his cell of suspected sex trafficker, Jeffrey Epstein, has had no visible effect whatsoever, on the affairs of Prince Andrew, it has been reported. Financier Epstein was being held in prison for offences he was alleged to have commit...
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Meghan And Harry's Baby, Archie, Says He Won't Attend Christening Service
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have a problem: their son Archie has said he refuses to be christened with the name 'Archie', and will not attend his own christening later today. The royal couple had planned to ha...
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Lorde's New Songs Leaked to Media
Lorde's newest songs have been leaked ot the media. A secret snitch sent along a copy of the eighteen year-old New Zealander's latest songs. The source says "Little White Yugos" is likely to be at least a moderate success on the pop charts. "All the...
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William Barr Issues New Four Page Summary; Rules that U.S. is Legally "Still a Monarchy"
Washington - Attorney General William Barr has determined that the Constitutional Democracy envisioned by the founding fathers was "fatally misconceived" and thus illegal, and has ruled that the United States must return to a monarchy form of governm...
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How the Royals celebrate Christmas
At Christmas time, ones thoughts often turn to Britain's second family, the Windsors. There are many connections between the Royal Family and Christmas - the Queen's speech; the fact that we lick the back of her head dozens of times in the weeks running up to Christmas; or that Jesus also had two birthdays. New member of the Royals, Kate Middleton, will be celebrating her first Christmas at Buc...
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Prince Harry passes his brother in the corridor and doesn’t stop and shake hands, fuelling speculation that they don’t get on
Buckingham Palace has refused to deny a story in the Weekly Chronicle, that firebrand royal prince, Harry, humiliated his older and more stable brother, William, by passing him in the passageway in their living quarters a couple of mornings ago witho...
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Pippa Middleton's Arse On Full View In Paris
Royal sister-in-law Pippa Middleton had her arse firmly on show in Paris this weekend. The Queen-to-be's sister was in the capital for a party, and was seen getting in to a convertible, when reporters surrounded them. The arse, famous for being a...
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Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites
Tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles final between number seed, Roger Federer, and tournament favorite and number 1 seed, Novak Djokovic, is to have two special guests: the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Windsor, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambri...
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Donald Trump Could Become Interim Monarch Of The UK
Royal geneologists decided at an emergency meeting in London last night, that, if the worst were to happen, and the Royal Family were laid waste by the current health pandemic, then, at a pinch, and for purely a temporary period only, the US presiden...
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England Prepares For Scottish Independence
On Burns Night, 2012, the BBC broadcast to English viewers and listeners, Scotland's First Minister, Alex Salmond, reading poems by Robert Burns. Few will forget the chilling threat that followed this attack. 'Ah will continue tae reid th' poems ay Rabbie Burns at ye sassenachs,' vowed a visibly crazed Mr Salmond, 'until Scootlund achieves independence. Indeed,' he added, with wild eyes bulging...
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Kate Middleton Thinks Roger Federer Is A Bit Dishy
The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, has told close friends that she thinks tennis superstar and tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles finalist, Roger Federer, is "a bit dishy". The Duchess will attend the Centre Court spectacular with her siste...
Read full storyFunny Royalty Headlines
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Prince Harry to Agincourt frontlines; Bavarian claimant 'moves up a notch'
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Royal family show off their crown jewels
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Naked Greed! Fergie Exposed Shagging for Money to Pay Mounting Bills!
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Benny 'has no idea' about his Thought for the Day
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The Middleton Sisters, Kate and Pippa To Appear In A Very "Tasteful" Nude Layout In PlayGuy Magazine
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King Richard III Found In Leicester Car Park
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Queen Said to be Responsible for Demise of Seaside Tourist Spot
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Prince Philip Arrested Again
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Prince Philip To Change His Car To One That 'Causes' Fewer Accidents
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The Queen Reveals Liking For Throbbing Gristle
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Queen To Have Sex
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HM the Queen and HRH Prince Philip in the 'do-do' again
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Sarah, Duchess of York not invited to Wills and Kate's bash due to World Tour!
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Queen Considering Changing Name of Royal House to The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight
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Royal yacht plans scrapped in favour of Diamond Jubilee pedalo
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Adam Lambert to Take Over from Queen
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Kate's Breasts Could Kick Start Your Day Too
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Prince Charles Is The King Of The Mole People
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Palace Bans Prince Philip Dead Pool Entries
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Leaked Report Claims Windsor Family Served with Unexplained Wealth Order
