Meghan Markle Back At Graft
Meghan Markle has finally returned to work, once more, after her period of maternity, having given birth to royal baby, Archie, in May. The Duchess of Sussex, looking stunning in clothes paid for by the taxpayer, posed for photos outside Buckingha...Read full story
Prince Andrew Impassive Over Jeffrey Epstein Death
The death in his cell of suspected sex trafficker, Jeffrey Epstein, has had no visible effect whatsoever, on the affairs of Prince Andrew, it has been reported. Financier Epstein was being held in prison for offences he was alleged to have commit...Read full story
Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites
Tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles final between number seed, Roger Federer, and tournament favorite and number 1 seed, Novak Djokovic, is to have two special guests: the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Windsor, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambri...Read full story
Royal Family to spend Xmas on Olly Murs's big face, say Palace.
Buckingham Palace last night revealed that Her Majesty the Queen, along with The Duke of Edinburgh and other prominent members of the royal family, will this year be spending the Christmas period on the enormous face of pop icon, Olly Murs. A Pala...Read full story
Meghan And Harry's Baby, Archie, Says He Won't Attend Christening Service
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have a problem: their son Archie has said he refuses to be christened with the name 'Archie', and will not attend his own christening later today. The royal couple had planned to ha...Read full story
Kate Middleton Thinks Roger Federer Is A Bit Dishy
The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, has told close friends that she thinks tennis superstar and tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles finalist, Roger Federer, is "a bit dishy". The Duchess will attend the Centre Court spectacular with her siste...Read full story
Kate's Breasts Could Kick Start Your Day Too
Following the inevitable global exposure of the future Queen of England's pert breasts by the French paparazzi, Buckingham Palace has gone on the offensive and has threatened legal action against any party who publishes the offending photos, or who u...Read full story
Europe Wonders: Which Head of State Will Marry Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque
The Winter Olympic Games of Vancouver have concluded and the athletes are all leaving the village and heading home to their countries. The biggest question on the minds of many Europeans, however, is "which head of state will marry Swedish Skater an...Read full story
Meghan under fire over Jeremy Corbyn chest tattoo
There was widespread concern in royal circles last night after the Duchess of Sussex told The Mail On Sunday that she'd had a likeness of leftie Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, tattooed on her chest. In yesterday's edition, she revealed: "I've...Read full story
England Prepares For Scottish Independence
On Burns Night, 2012, the BBC broadcast to English viewers and listeners, Scotland's First Minister, Alex Salmond, reading poems by Robert Burns. Few will forget the chilling threat that followed this attack. 'Ah will continue tae reid th' poems ay Rabbie Burns at ye sassenachs,' vowed a visibly crazed Mr Salmond, 'until Scootlund achieves independence. Indeed,' he added, with wild eyes bulging...Read full story
Queen Attends Kentucky Derby
The Queen fulfilled one of her lifelong ambitions at the weekend, when she partook of a meal at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Her Majesty had been past outlets on numerous occasions, but had never actually sampled the culi...Read full story
Ron and Fred on The British Secret Intelligence Agencies.
"Alright there, Ron" "Yeah, not s' bad as it 'appens, Fred." "Yer don't wanna go araand sayin' that no more Ron." "Oh yeah, I see what yer mean Fred." "Not safe sayin' that now it aint... I saw 'im once I did, years ago mind." "That creep! When was that then, Fred?" "I saw that Jimmy Savaloy, ooooh, nineteen eight-one, eighty-two, raand abaat then. In one ov them London marathon fings 'e wa...Read full story
Sarah, Duchess of York not invited to Wills and Kate's bash due to World Tour!
Buckingham Palace, LONDON: Prince Andrew's ex, Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, will not be attending the high society bash of the year at Westminister Abbey. Sarah, Duchess of York, also known as Fergie, is persona non grata in some quarters, si...Read full story
Prince Harry passes his brother in the corridor and doesn’t say stop and shake hands, fuelling speculation that they don’t get on
The palace has refused to deny a story in the Weekly Chronicle, that firebrand royal prince, Harry, humiliated his older and more stable brother, William, by passing him in the passageway in their living quarters a couple of mornings ago without stop...Read full story
H.M.The Queen in extraordinary gesture
In an extraordinary show of solidarity, Queen Elizabeth II has announced that she is to renounce all her royal income and privileges in order to show that "we are all in it together" as the government prepares to trample all over her subjects in the...Read full story
A Dire Warning To Prince William Before The Occurance Of His Ill Fated Marriage To The Commoner Kate Middleton!
The following is a letter recently received by his Royal Highness Prince Williams of England concerning his upcoming wedding to the commoner Kate Middleton: Dearest, most exalted, Royal Highness Prince Williams, It is out of the utmost duty that I write this missive to you before your day of marital conjoining with the commoner Kate Middleton. It is a duty not of a peasant from a colony war...Read full story
Royal Orders Royal Policemen to Attend to His Balls
Duke of York, Prince Andrew was whacking his balls out on the green at Buckingham Palace when a squadron of Royal protection officers happened by and suggested that the once and maybe even future king may want to do his business in the privacy of his...Read full story
Royal Altercation At Palace Leaves William 'Furious' And Kate Middleton 'Extremely Upset'
Prince William is said to be 'furious' after his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, allegedly upset his wife-to-be, the commoner Kate Middleton. The row took place in Buckingham Palace late one evening, sources say, and resulted in Miss Middleton st...Read full story
Lord Linley jubilant as royal blackmailers get five years
London - (Ass Mess): Puppet Monarchy tribute artiste Lord Linley is said to be delighted today after some lowlife crack dealers got five years jail for performing an act of gross indecency upon his person, cramming his nostrils with premium grade Col...Read full story