"Knees Up Mother Brown" to replace national anthem at sporting events
In a surprise move, the government, in conjunction with The Royal Family, have decided to ditch God Save The Queen at future sporting events and replace it with the cockney anthem: "Knees Up Mother Brown" It is thought that the government, and ind…
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Naked Princess Eugenie Says She's Just Like You, Only Richer
(London, England) - Caught frolicking naked on her college grounds, Britain's Princess Eugenie says she did it to connect with commoners and to "show off my naughty bits, of which I am quite proud."...
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On Eve of Kate Middleton's Wedding to Prince William: Most Brits Admit They Still Wank off To Henry Tudor
In a quick survey of British citizenry 65% admitted that they still fantasize about Henry Tudor while masturbating. Kate Middleton came in a distant second at 12% followed by the late George III, also known as "Mad" King George. The survey reporte...
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The Queen Reveals Liking For Throbbing Gristle
In the unlikeliest of associations imaginable, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, has revealed that she is a fan of industrial music pioneers, Throbbing Gristle. TG, formed in Hull in 1975 from the remnants of COUM Transmissions, stunned audiences with...
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No More Fun At The Palace For Kate Middleton's Pussy
The people of Britain have woken up today to news so devastating that it could signal the end of these great Islands for ever.
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Lorde's New Songs Leaked to Media
Lorde's newest songs have been leaked ot the media. A secret snitch sent along a copy of the eighteen year-old New Zealander's latest songs. The source says "Little White Yugos" is likely to be at least a moderate success on the pop charts. "All the...
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Anger as Harry and Meghan ghost the Queen
Ruling Order of Pasty Whites (ROPW) announces top threats for 2021
Prince Charles to be Next Commonwealth Head and Change its Name to Royalwealth
Prince William And Kate Middleton Pack Each Other In
Irish Newspaper Goes One Better In Topless Royal Scandal
HRH Phil The Greek Mourns Loss Of Navy Career
Prince William Report Angers Palace
Prince Andrew blames his refusal to help US Attorney on “those pesky sweat glands”
Burrell Butles Way To New Career
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Both Thrilled That Queen Elizabeth Did Not Have Them Deported To Siberia
Palace Bans Prince Philip Dead Pool Entries
Kate Middleton Thinks Roger Federer Is A Bit Dishy
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Say Good Riddance to the World of Royalty
LOS ANGELES – Well Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are now no longer considered royalty. Queen Elizabeth has stripped them of their Buckingham Palace titles and amenities including their royal name tags. The lovely couple will now be known simply a...
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Prince William/Kate Middleton - Her Name Was "Too Short" Says Mail On Sunday
"She may have been a looker, but her name wasn't long enough."...
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German Aristocrat Plunges To His Death One Month Too Early, Say Police
A German aristocrat, found dead after falling from his fourth-floor balcony in an exclusive area of West London, died one month too early, say police from Scotland Yard.
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'Orff with his head! Prince Harry to be put on trial for disrespecting the Queen
The Queen has reportedly decided to impeach Prince Harry for being a bad son and a terrible Prince. The decision was reportedly taken by Her Majesty, backed by Prince Charles. The Duke of Edinburgh was said to be so angry that he had to be restrai...
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Prince William/Kate Middleton Divorce Latest
There was a new development in the Prince William/Kate Middleton divorce row today, when it emerged that the intended Princess had been seeing another man. Whooaaaa...
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"Can You Smell Shit In Here?" Tuvalu Kate Asks William At Website Office
In an aside from legal wrangles in La Belle France, relating to a certain 'invasive photographic' orgy of unnecessary and quite pointless overexposure, which of course was lapped up by the French, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been getting a...
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Prince Harry's Brief Stand-Up Comedy Career Goes Horribly Wrong
In his most misguided effort yet since quitting the monarchy without already having a job, ex-Duke Harry has decided to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. The Man Who Wouldn't Be King and his lovely wife, Meghan, booked another interview with Queen…
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Prince Louis Learns To Speak With The Help Of Gordon Ramsay
Royal tot, Prince Louis, has learned to speak his first few words in the English language, thanks to the help of TV celebrity cook, Gordon Ramsay. His mum, Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, says that Louis, 19 months, who can already speak Lati...
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Green Party and Health and Safety veto Queen's pedalo plans
Hot off the press, commenting today on the reported pedalo gift for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations, Mr Nigel Workshy, speaking for the Green Party said: ' I'm all in favour of the zero emissions the pedalo will cause, but bear in mind al...
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Surrey City Man Looking Forward to Sex with Social Climbing Actuary/Wife in 2013
London based futures trader Martin Susspeck is planning to short his own wife's investment in the future successor to Queen Catherine Middleton. "Daft cow has it in her head if she times the next pup proper, the kid can marry William and Kitty's f...
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Her Majesty Mistakenly Locked in Men's Wimbledon Locker Room
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was found unharmed on Friday afternoon at the All-England Lawn & Tennis Club in London. Her discovery was preceded by a failed and unnerving thirty-five minute search of the Wimbledon tennis grounds by her security...
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Phil The Greek Restores Noble Right Of Prima Nocta
In what is likely to be seen as a highly controversial move, HRH Prince Philip has taken it upon himself to restore the ancient noble's right of Prima Nocta. This is the right which allows a senior royal to have sexual rights to the wife of a newly m...
Read full storyFunny Royalty Headlines
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Prince Charles: My Farts Smell Royal
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Queen Elizabeths Drunk Cousin in Shock Eviction
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Royal College of Arms Smuggling fire 'may be arson'
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Prince Harry launches Wheef!
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Irish demand visit by Pippa Middleton
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The Duchess of Cornwall's Tips For Buying a Second-Hand Motorbike
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More value for money demanded from Royal scroungers
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Trump Plots to Have His Family Declared "Royalty" After Trip to England
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Harry to join Top Gear
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Prince Harry And Piers Morgan To Have A Fight
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Prince Charles & His Butler - The Full Exclusive!
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Man to Eat Queen?
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Hundreds Injured at Royal Sex Event
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Desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton SO embarrasing says royal wedding bride
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Opus Dei plot to allow Catholics on the Throne
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Princess Anne goes high tech to double insults to onlookers
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British Monarchy succession loop hole
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'Long to reign over us' to be Removed from National Anthem!
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England Prepares For Scottish Independence
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Gamekeepers get tigrish
