Prince Andrew in new, one-armed bandit row

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Wednesday, 20 November 2019

image for Prince Andrew in new, one-armed bandit row
Prince Andrew

Prince Andrew has claimed that photos of him cuddling various women may have been doctored because, as far as he can remember, he lost an arm in the Falklands War.

The Prince said that he leads a very busy life, and, therefore, cannot keep track of all of his body parts, but recalls possibly spending six months in an Army Rehabilitation centre for people with missing arms. Or it could be legs.

The Prince, who was widely criticised after giving an interview with the BBC during which he didn’t express regret for his friendship with paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, and made a number of vague denials of allegations that he slept with a 17-year-old girl, baffled viewers by saying he went to America to tell Mr Epstein he was breaking off the friendship, and proceeded to spend six days staying with him. He admitted that he “may have taken quite a long time” to say the words which broke off the friendship, and possibly spent some of this time eating pizzas and visiting private hospitals to try and repair his broken sweat glands.

Several organisations have broken off sponsorship deals with the Prince’s charities in the wake of the interview. However, Royal insiders claim that the Prince himself believes his interview went very well, and that his advisors are too frightened to tell him the truth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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