Tokyo's Olympic Sex Doll Mascots Are Very Deflated
Tokyo, Japan - The 14-foot-tall Olympic sex doll mascots, Kinki and Minki, are very depressed about the Games being cancelled this summer, and moved back to 2021. "They won't even wear their volleyball bikinis!" explained Titzi Wowi, the mascots'…Read full story
Beijing Olympic Committee hits back: WE banned Spielberg first
Beijing - (Mud-slinging Mess): Angry Chinese Olympic Games chiefs hit back today at reports that US movie maker Steven Spielberg, 69, is boycotting this year's Beijing Games.Read full story
Thumb Wrestling, 12 Ounce Curls, And Hot Dog Eating To Become Olympic Sports
Reflecting the increasingly sedentary habits of human beings, the International Olympic Committee is adding some controversial events to the Olympic games. 12 ounce curls and hot dog eating are just two of the new events the IOC is adding to the game...Read full story
Tokyo Unveils 2020 Olympic Mascots - Sex Dolls!
Tokyo, Japan - In a move that greatly saddened Hello Kitty lovers across Japan, the Tokyo Olympic committee announced Friday that they have decided to go with two inflatable sex dolls, as the mascots for the 2020 Summer Games. Head of the Games co...Read full story
Mighty Mouse Banned from Cartoon Olympics for Illegal Performance Enhancing Cheeses!
Children across the world have been inspired by the operatic aria: "Here I come to save the day/ Because Mighty Mouse in on his way!" Sad to announce the sports world today learned that there was more in the ripped rodent's whey than curds! Ca...Read full story
Darts could star in 2012 Olympics
Olympic organisers are meeting today to discuss the possible inclusion of new sports for the 2012 Olympics. Senior officials from the governing bodies of various sports will make a case for their applications to be included. A vote will determine w...Read full story
Jessica Finished Hill
One of Britain's all time great athletes has retired from her sport. Hetaopopolete Jessica Ennis Hill has walked away from her sport at the age of 31 probably saying something like "the real gold medal is family". Well probably. We don't know fo...Read full story
Bigfoot Settles For Silver Medal In Beijing
The 'real Bigfoot' capped an extraordinary year with a disappointing end for himself at the Bird's Nest in Beijing tonight, when he could only claim a silver medal in the Olympic Triple Jump event. Phillips Idowu, whose name is the wrong way aroun...Read full story
Readying For Olympics, Police In Brazil Arrest Prostitutes With Braces
Men traveling to Brazil for the Olympics this summer breathed a sigh of relief today. A crackdown on hookers with braces in Rio de Janeiro rounded up 170 mostly female sex workers sporting the dangerous dental devices. Brazilian Director Of Touris...Read full story
Olympics: David Beckham misses out on Stuart Pearces 'Team GB Squad'
The world of British sport was in shock today when Team GB Olympic Football team boss Stuart Pearce named his squad for the Games and local lad made good David 'OBE' Beckham wasn't on it. 'Pearcy' had to reduce his squad down from 35 to 18, and co...Read full story
Inter Mammary Intercourse Advocates Deride IOC Decision
"Muff Diving should never have been approved before the Titty-F**k!" was the hue and cry of the IIMF (The International Inter Mammary F**kers). Cat Calls abounded at the IOC meeting in Likit, Australia.Read full story
Tiddlywinks to become an Olympic sport in 2016!
The IOC have confirmed the fact that Tiddlywinks, Snakes & Ladders, Ludo & Scrabble will all become Olympic sports in 2016. Scrabble seems to be a slight problem because of the language barrier, but as usual Seb Coe got his way and forced to...Read full story
Minister to open Olympic Knitting Championships
The Minister for Opus Dei, Ruth Kelly, will be opening the UK Olympic Knitting Championships later today. Held every four years at venues throughout the world, it is the turn of the tiny hamlet of Stoke Boyler in Devon to host this prestigious eve...Read full story
Protests Over New Olympic Sport: Synchronized Sweating
The decision by the International Olympic Committee to drop wrestling from the Games and replace it with synchronized sweating has triggered a wave of protests around the athletic world. "This is a slap in the face for all the serious sports that...Read full story
A Guide to Plymouth, Devon (past Exeter), where Olympic Boy Diver Tom Daley lives
A flock of seagulls flies through the night city air high over the houses, and is momentarily illuminated by a security light in the garden, of one of those houses. Thunderous sounds coming from the city center not too far away, seem to have brought them here. As they pass overhead, their squawks sound increasingly desperate, but then seconds later, they begin to lighten up. The fireworks continu...Read full story
Gold Medal Chinese Women's Gymnastics Team Disqualified Due To Age
The Chinese Women's Gymnastics Team took the Olympic Gold Medal in the team competition, but has been disqualified due to the falsification of the ages of some of the team members. News sources had reported several days ago that at least three membe...Read full story