Pop superstar Madonna is to take the place left vacant by Hollywood legend Steven Spielberg as artistic director for the Beijing Olympics. Madonna, who this week unveiled her directorial debut "Filth and Wisdom" at the annual Berlin Film Festival smoozefest, accepted an official invitation by Chinese Premiere Ping Pong.
"I'm very excited to allow the world to experience my creative genius", said Madonna in a quaint English accent.
"I want to do for Communist China what my soul-sister, Leni Riefenstahl, did for the Third Reich", she told a group of lesbian Nazi journalists.
Madonna will also use the massive international coverage to promote her latest album, clothing line, children's book "Little Miss Tuff-Sh*t", adopted child and of course her 81 minute 'short' film.
"Other people don't use their time constructively so I decided to make the longest short film ever", snarled Madonna in a Chinese accent as she boarded a flight to Malawi to pick up another 'package'.
Spielberg, maker of classics such as "1941", "Always" and "The Terminal", turned down the job of artistic director - citing as his reason China's failure to act on the Darfur problem. He strenuously denies it had anything to do with the promotional junket he has planned for Indiana Jones 4 and his hatred of paddy fields.