The Nation’s First Transgender, Atheist, Republican Shot Putter Is Headed To The Tokyo Summer Olympics

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 28 June 2021

image for The Nation’s First Transgender, Atheist, Republican Shot Putter Is Headed To The Tokyo Summer Olympics
"Dimples" commented that on weekends, she works as a bouncer at The Cowpokes & Cowgals Dancehall Bar.

BISON BUTT, Montana – (Satire Sports) – The tiny town of Bison Butt, which is known as The Fried Okra Capital of the World, is brimming with pride, as their hometown athletic girl has qualified for the Summer Olympics in Japan.

Hairstylist Fawncella “Dimples” Housewood, who is a transgender, atheist, Republican says she will be packing her bags and her balls (shot put balls) and heading to Tokyo.

Many sports pundits including Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette feel that “Dimples” has a great shot, (no pun intended) at winning the gold for the USA, in the shot put event.

Fawncella says that she has been tossing the shot put 12 hours a day for the past 173 days. And she mentioned somewhat tongue-in-cheek, that in order to stay focused she has not had sex, of any kind, in the past five months.

She pointed out that as a result her boyfriend, Wendell, dumped her. "Dimples" said it was no loss since he wasn't that good in bed anyway.

La Bamba noted that Miss Housewood, who is 6-foot-7-inches tall and weighs 291 pounds, has dreamed about going to the Summer Olympics ever since she was little 6-year-old Frankie Housewood.

SIDENOTE: “Dimples” told La Bamba that she wants to squash the rumor that apparently started in Wyoming that she’s lesbionic.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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