Readying For Olympics, Police In Brazil Arrest Prostitutes With Braces

Written by XRhonda Speaks

Thursday, 2 June 2016


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Police in Rio de Janeiro are rounding up prostitutes with dental braces to prepare the city for the Summer Olympics.

Men traveling to Brazil for the Olympics this summer breathed a sigh of relief today. A crackdown on hookers with braces in Rio de Janeiro rounded up 170 mostly female sex workers sporting the dangerous dental devices.

Brazilian Director Of Tourism Guillermo Ochoa told a press conference in the host city, "With all the concerns surrounding zika, this is one less thing that visitors will have to worry about. The police sweeps will continue until the Olympic games this summer and our Chief of Police has promised over ninety-nine percent of sex workers with braces will be detained until the Olympics conclude."

This reporter contacted sex columnist Dan Savage for his view on the subject and he spoke frankly.

"For some men having your member serviced by a foreigner is the reason to go to the Olympics. That being said you have to realize this is risky behavior and you are either OK with that, or you are using condoms for protection. Now internet porn fantasies have made sex with a partner with braces something guys seek out, but realize those braces are dangerous and can injure you and even using condoms may not always protect you from STDs."

Savage dispensed a final piece of advice to those who will defy the Brazilian ban this summer and hire a hooker with braces anyway.

"When a sex worker has braces it doesn't have to be a deal breaker, just remember this rhyme, 'If the teeth are shiny, opt for hiney.'"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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