Written by Robert W. Armijo

Monday, 12 May 2008

image for U.S. Women's Olympic soccer team drops sports bra sponsorship after Chinese government orders them to keep their shirts on
TV censors are giving 2008 Beijing summer Olympics an NCR-17 rating for the first time in history

Beijing, China - In order to comply with the highly censored and strict Chinese government run TV standards, the U.S. women's Olympic soccer team had to sign an agreement that they would not remove their shirts on the field or anytime during a soccer match regulated by Olympic officials while in Beijing.

The restriction comes out of concern that the U.S. women's soccer team will repeat their infamous moment in sports history of having team members remove their shirts as a sign of victory, exposing their sport bras live on TV.

"We didn't think the extra precaution was necessary," said a spokesman for the U.S. women's Olympic soccer team. "After all, it's not like the original incident last Olympics was planned or anything, but we signed it just the same to appease the Chinese's government concerns."

Apparently the Chinese government is concerned how millions of single Chinese men will react to seeing women reduced to their undergarments on TV, say Olympic committee officials.

According to pediatrics, it is the fallout from the Chinese government attempt at social engineering, restricting couples to one child in an attempt to reduce the population.

"Those couples, having the option to choose either a male or a female child selected a male for cultural reasons as their prized one child per couple quota," said a spokesman for the International Association for Pediatrics. "That has lead to today's shortage of women in the county."

"Women should not be held responsible for the reckless reaction of millions of Chinese men brought to sexual arousal in seeing the female body in its natural state just because there isn't enough women around for them to dominate with their penises," said a feminist critic of the agreement. "A woman should be free to express her sexually, especially in a country, politics aside, which culturally shuns it."

The U.S. women's Olympic soccer team members have recently received legal advice from lawyers at N.O.W. in an attempt to find a legal loop that will allow the women to freely express their sexuality without breaching the agreement.

"We are encouraging the women to strip down to their underwear and not to stop there," said an attorney for N.O.W. "Therefore, since the terms of the agreement are quite specific in regards to prohibiting the team members from removing their shirts, we're advising them drop their sports bra sponsorship altogether and pick up a thong or G-String bikini sponsor instead."

Nelson TV ratings are projecting the 2008 Beijing summer Olympics to be the hottest ever, shattering all previous records known to mankind.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Olympics, Breasts, Bra

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