Presented by Geoff Ball and Geoff Racket.
Geoff: You join us as we watch the seemingly endless parade of nations. And next up it's Botswana.
Geoff: That's right, Geoff. Botswana is a country in southern Africa with a population of just over 2 million. Their main exports are diamonds and beef.
Geoff: There goes their flagbearer, George Adulu, who is a long jumper. What a colourful costume he's wearing!
Geoff: Indeed. Not wearing any diamonds I see. Nor any beef, but that's probably just as well. In this heat it would become rancid quite quickly.
Geoff: Next it's Germany, and their nearly two hundred athletes.
Geoff: Famously of course, they held the Olympics in 1936 when Adolf Hitler hosted the Games.
Geoff: Thankfully he's not around today. I imagine his presence would certainly put a dampener on proceedings.
Geoff: That's right Geoff. The German team contain a number of shot putters, and of course the famous swimmer Hans Mann. There he is with his trademark bald head.
Geoff: And might I say, there are some fine looking ladies in this team, and indeed in all the teams.
Geoff: Yes Geoff. Splendid looking, and very fit they must be too. Young, vigorous, and at the peak of their athletic ability.
Geoff: Makes you think, doesn't it. And here comes Costa Rica.
Geoff: Costa Rica, a country in central America whose major exports are bananas and pineapples.
Geoff: I'm sure they'll be needing those during these games to help keep their strength up.
Geoff: That's right, Geoff. A very important source of potassium and vitamins. Where would we be without fruit?
Geoff: I expect we'd all get scurvy. It's Cambodia next. Now Geoff, does my eyesight deceive me or is that a palace on their flag?
Geoff: Yes Geoff, it is. Cambodia, of course, home of the Khmer Rouge. Over fifty per cent of the country's population were massacred in the 1970s under Pol Pot. Thankfully they've gotten over that and they're here today, smiling cheerfully.
Geoff: They're still wearing red though. What are Cambodia's exports then?
Geoff: I don't know, the card just says Khmer Rouge and population 15 million.
Geoff: Right. Who wrote these cards?
Geoff: I did, most of them haven't changed since Barcelona 1992. They're to give geographical context.
Geoff: Do we usually do this?
Geoff: Yes! People expect it.
Geoff: How many more countries are there to go?
Geoff: About two hundred more.
Geoff: Right, I'm going for a drink.