TOKYO, Japan – (Sports Satire) – The 2021 Summer Olympics is fast approaching and reporter Cinderella St. Lamb, with the Balls News Agency has compiled a list of the top must see Summer Olympic Events.
Miss St. Lamb has also been commissioned by Vice-President Kamala Harris to be a special sports consultant for the United States Government in Tokyo.
1. The 100 Meter Crawl
2. High Diving With Arms Tied
3. Free-Style Bogeying
4. The 4-Mile Hurdles
5. The Bowling Bowl Toss
6. The 700 Meter Backward Swimming Race
7. The Women’s Half-Naked Martial Arts Kick-Ass Unabridged Event
8. The 440 Blindfolded Relays
9. The 33-Foot-Long Spear Throw
10. Mixed Gender Basketball
Summer Olympics Sidenote: First Lady Jill Biden, will be representing the United States along with talk show host Stephen Colbert, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott, and all four member of the 70s band Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young.