Funny story - God Suffers with Mental Health; Becomes Atheist

God Suffers with Mental Health; Becomes Atheist

Vatican - On Wednesday Pope Francis made a shocking statement of God's mental health. "I just don't believe in myself anymore." God is rumored to have said to his therapist. In addition to his recent self doubt God has been suffering with an…

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Funny story - An Increasingly Decrepit God To Be Fitted with an Omniscient Aid

An Increasingly Decrepit God To Be Fitted with an Omniscient Aid

“Wha—Where are my glasses? A tsunami in Tonga? Where the fuck’s ‘Tonga’? Russian forces massing on Ukraine’s border? What the hell?” These are only some of the many questions the caretakers of an increasingly senescent Supreme Being have overhea…

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Funny story - Alabama Legalizes Rape

Alabama Legalizes Rape

In a landmark ruling that is sure to have a knock-on effect all across the country, and possibly the world, the state of Alabama legislature today passed a new law that makes it now completely legal to have sex with a woman, even if it is against her…

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Funny story - CERN announces discovery of Satan particle

CERN announces discovery of Satan particle

Scientists at CERN today announced that they had discovered the Satan particle, which has the same mass and spin as the God particle, but opposite charge. When a God particle and a Satan particle collide, the two annihilate each other and energy is r...

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Funny story - God Admits to Being a Codependent

God Admits to Being a Codependent

After an eternity of trying desperately to control everything around him so that the people he cared about would be okay, God finally admitted to being a codependent. “I felt like I wasn’t okay unless everyone else was okay,” said God. “I felt res...

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Funny story - Russell Brand - The Anti-Christ?

Russell Brand - The Anti-Christ?

Love him or hate him, the British comedian, actor, radio host, TV presenter, author, and activist, Russell Brand is hot property in entertainment circles, but is there something sinister lurking in his background? Brand has always been controversi...

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Funny story - God Says Jesus Upset His Birthday To Be Played Down This Year

God Says Jesus Upset His Birthday To Be Played Down This Year

God, the Supreme Being and creator of the universe and everything in it, has said that his son, Jesus Christ, is upset that his birthday on December 25 will not be celebrated with the usual fervour this year, due to Coronavirus restrictions. Chris…

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Funny story - Evidence found Duke lacrosse players learned sex from monarch butterfly

Evidence found Duke lacrosse players learned sex from monarch butterfly

Hard evidence was entered into the case defending Duke lacrosse players which links several of the accused to butterfly sex techniques. In an effort to understand the player's, researchers of the case found that several of the players were tutore...

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Funny story - Bad day for the Devil as Jerry Falwell gets sent down

Bad day for the Devil as Jerry Falwell gets sent down

Extremist Jerry Falwell, the controversial homophobic arsehole and evangelical lunatic has died of a heart attack. "Good bloody riddance" said the Reverend Ian Paisley. "He will burn in ever lasting flame for his twist...

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Funny story - Recovering Alcoholic Admits to Having Trouble Hearing His Higher Power’s Voice

Recovering Alcoholic Admits to Having Trouble Hearing His Higher Power’s Voice

Despite his devotion to practicing the Eleventh Step of Alcoholics Anonymous by seeking through prayer and meditation to improve his conscious contact with God as he understands God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for him and the power to c...

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Funny story - God apologizes for massive loss of life

God apologizes for massive loss of life

In an emotional interview, God, the Supreme Ruler of the universe, has tearfully apologized for the massive loss of life that occurred on his watch during the last ten years. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and terrorist attacks have claimed hun...

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Funny story - Nashville Woman Proves that Prayer Works

Nashville Woman Proves that Prayer Works

"I don't tell other people what to do, but for me, prayer works," said Wanda Messer of Nashville, Tennessee. "God gets results." Messer explained that her Heavenly Father has supported her through her most turbulent of times, including the past ni...

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Funny story - God Turns to Atheism After Reading Trump's Tweets

God Turns to Atheism After Reading Trump's Tweets

The rumor spreading around heaven is that the God almighty is questioning the existence of himself and the reality of everything around him. Several angels have confirmed seeing him wander between clouds, looking lost and confused. We asked th...

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Funny story - Trump And God Agree To Disagree

Trump And God Agree To Disagree

Supreme Being and Ruler of the Universe, Donald Trump, met its creator, God, this morning in a lively round of discussions on current events, but, as neither was prepared to give ground on key issues, a stalemate was declared, and they adjourned the...

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Funny story - Trump Hears from God While Trapped on Elevator

Trump Hears from God While Trapped on Elevator

Colorado Springs, CO: Donald Trump claimed in his stump speech that he heard a message from God while trapped on an elevator just before a rally in Colorado Springs. "You know," he stated, "I need to say it, I shouldn't, but okay I will. I was t...

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Funny story - 500-pound man seeks redemption - almost drowns during baptism

500-pound man seeks redemption - almost drowns during baptism

St. Croix River, Milwaukee - Admitting that gluttony was the only one of the seven deadly sins that he enjoyed committing, Mike Martinez, 39, attempted to set his life on the righteous path by confessing to his pastor that he had set out years earlie...

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Funny story - How's Your Work/Life Balance?

How's Your Work/Life Balance?

To most of us, 'Work/Life Balance' means being able to effectively allocate sufficient time and effort to both work and other areas of our lives, such as family, so that we can function well, and enjoy both. If only achieving it were as easy as defining it! I find achieving it impossible, because I hate work so much. I loathe it. I detest it. I abhor it. I would like to drag it kicking...

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Funny story - Stephen Hawking: God not responsible for athletic victories.

Stephen Hawking: God not responsible for athletic victories.

LONDON, U.K.-Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking makes a controversial claim in his new book The Grand Design that God is not in any way responsible for events transpiring in the world of athletics. Hawking's new theory argues that the failures or tri...

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Funny story - God Has Had Enough! It's The End Of The World!

God Has Had Enough! It's The End Of The World!

After further volcanic eruptions at Krakatoa, and Monday's 'unrest' at Mount Etna in Sicily, it's been confirmed that God has had just about as much as he can stand, as has decided to put a stop to it all, with the End of the World. Last week's un...

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Funny story - Jesus Makes a Confession: " I messed up…"

Jesus Makes a Confession: " I messed up…"

In a late afternoon press conference, Jesus made a shocking confession: "I screwed up." "I don't get to say that very often, but remember that I'm only mostly divine, you know? Nobody's perfect - well, except my dad. The Creator rarely messes up,...

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