Nashville Man Disappointed Satan Has Never Tried to Buy His Soul

Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 7 November 2019

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Nate Bailey can't help but wonder what it would feel like to be tempted by the devil - and then, of course, resist.

"Not that I ever would," said Nate Bailey of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding the prospect of selling his soul to Satan, "but I'd kind of like to know what they're going for these days."

Again emphasizing that doing a deal with the devil is not an option he'd ever seriously consider, Nate nonetheless admitted to being a bit offended that the devil had never even attempted to buy his soul.

"I think I've got a pretty decent specimen," he said. "You'd think he'd at least want to make me an offer."

That being said, Nate was clear that he'd never underestimate Satan. "He's not as all-knowing as you-know-who, but he's probably got some inside knowledge. Maybe he just didn't want to waste his time bargaining with me, since he knows I'd never go for it."

Even so, Nate admitted to wondering how he'd respond if Satan were to put him on the spot.

"I know it sounds weird, but I'm curious what it would feel like to be truly tempted," he said. "And then resist, of course. That goes without saying."

Still, having gone his entire 43 years without being approached by the devil with a purchase proposal, Nate isn't holding his breath for an offer from Satan.

"Maybe he's got all the souls he needs for now," he said. "I wonder what Donald Trump's went for."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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