Funny story: Young Black Male Wanted for Unspeakable Sex Crimes

Young Black Male Wanted for Unspeakable Sex Crimes

The New York City Police Department is asking for the public's assistance in apprehending a medium- to dark-skinned black male between the ages of 17 and 25, who is wanted in the New York City area for questioning in regard to unspeakable alleged sex...

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Funny story: Priti Patel Vows To Make Criminals Terrified Of The Law

Priti Patel Vows To Make Criminals Terrified Of The Law

New Home Secretary, Priti Patel, has said that criminals should be made "terrified of the law", and that she wants them to: "literally feel terror". Patel told anyone who would listen, that: "The Conservative Party is the party of law and or...

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Funny story: Brick Came Through Window

Brick Came Through Window

An 84-year-old lady, innocently washing her breakfast pots in her kitchen, was given the fright of her life this morning, when a regular household brick came crashing through the window, causing her to turn to her husband, Albert, and ask him: "Wh...

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Funny story: "It Wasn't Me!", Said Girl

"It Wasn't Me!", Said Girl

A filthy young New York streetgirl accused of stealing and eating some chocolate from a shop, has claimed she wasn't responsible, despite the evidence still being all over her face. The grotty urchin, who looked about 5 years old, was interviewed...

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Funny story: Mueller hides behind couch after whipping

Mueller hides behind couch after whipping

Washington ‘Swamp’ D.C. - CSPANT Cable News Nutwork reports that Mule-Error received a cruel horse-whipping early this morning. Reportedly, he won’t be able to sit for weeks. Southern plantation slave owners abused the poor old crime-hound until he...

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Funny story: London Homophobic Night Bus Attack Boys Face Being Bummed On Live TV As Punishment

London Homophobic Night Bus Attack Boys Face Being Bummed On Live TV As Punishment

The four boys arrested and charged with the homophobic attack of two women who refused to kiss for them on a London bus in May, may have to face an extraordinary punishment if convicted - a sound, powerful and sustained bumming by muscular gay men,...

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Funny story: Polyana Viana Teaches Man A Painful Lesson

Polyana Viana Teaches Man A Painful Lesson

A man who tried to rob the MMA fighter, Polyana Viana, outside her apartment in Brazil, received his comeuppance in no uncertain terms, when the UFC competitor kicked the living shit out of him. Viana was outside her Rio de Janeiro home when the m...

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Funny story: Police Arrest Gatwick Drone Operator

Police Arrest Gatwick Drone Operator

Police at Gatwick Airport have made an arrest in connection with the drone that have grounded 765 flights and caused a shutdown of the facility over the last three days. Timmy Smith, aged 9, was taken to a police station early this morning after...

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Funny story: Police Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals

Police Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals

North Yorkshire Police have apologised for providing "too much detail" in a description of a man who performed a sex act in front of a woman in York. The force had said it was looking for a "fat, naked man" and described his sexual organs explicitly...

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Funny story: "999 What's Your Emer...Ah Fuck It"

"999 What's Your Emer...Ah Fuck It"

A shocking new report has found that over one million crimes a year aren’t even investigated by the police. To people who enjoy stealing cheap bottles of cider, this is great news! But, for those of us who expect our law enforcement to do a semi comp...

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Funny story: Crack Cocaine Worth 75p Seized In Drugs Haul

Crack Cocaine Worth 75p Seized In Drugs Haul

Police have made a drugs bust in the northern port city of Hull, and believe they may have smashed a vital cog in the distribution of narcotics in East Yorkshire. A 24-year-old man riding a decrepit, old bicycle through the Orchard Park council es...

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Funny story: Jacob Rees Mogg held following 'frenzied attack' on Honey Boo Boo

Jacob Rees Mogg held following 'frenzied attack' on Honey Boo Boo

Controversial Conservative backbencher and leading Brexiteer, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has been remanded in custody after allegedly attacking, child TV personality, Honey Boo Boo, with a Victorian life-preserver - a type of wooden cudgel. Rees-Mogg, 49, a...

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Funny story: Walmart Spokesman Loses Control Punches Reporter

Walmart Spokesman Loses Control Punches Reporter

New York - At a press conference today Walmart spokesman Scott A. Reid faced hostile questions from gathered reporters. The press were called so that Mr. Reid could justify the U.S. retailers decline to aid factory victims in Bangladesh by participa...

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Funny story: Londoner suffers fatal stroke following northerner's attempt to strike up conversation on bus

Londoner suffers fatal stroke following northerner's attempt to strike up conversation on bus

A 45-year-old London man suffered a fatal stroke yesterday, when a man from the north of England tried to begin a conversation just moments after sitting down next to him on a Number 24 bus from Pimlico to Hampstead Heath. Witnesses say the northe...

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Funny story: Gruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder

Gruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder

Police supervising a TV documentary murder reconstruction of an unsolved slaying that happened 20 years ago, have egg on their faces this evening, after a second murder took place in exactly the same manner as the first one. In Epsom, back in 199...

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Funny story: Cardinal sins to be reclassified as sub-standard virtues

Cardinal sins to be reclassified as sub-standard virtues

The recent apology by Cardinal Keith O'Brien where he admitted to below-standard sexual conduct, has inspired a radical review of offences. HR, ecumenical and legal professionals are all celebrating the proposed new terminology. "Really it is an...

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Funny story: Nation in Shock as Teenager Helps

Nation in Shock as Teenager Helps

BIRMINGHAM - A teenager - those evil youths - was found to be helping within his community today. Rob Smith, 15, who is a teenager, and therefore a baby-eating monster - was helping an old lady across the road. "He came up to me," recalled Dais...

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Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E: 13th May 2012

Selected Political News for W/E: 13th May 2012

Monday 7th May 2012 Topic: London Olympics - Terrorism "Worker smuggles fake bomb past TWO checkpoints into the Olympic Park... just hours before stadium officially opens!" Source: Mail Online Extract: A site worker took the dummy device into the Stratford stadium after he noticed security flaws. The fake Semtex device got through two checkpoints and was in full view of guards. It was wired...

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Funny story: Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

There was brighter news for industry today, when it was announced that, despite poor performances in nearly all the UK's industry sectors, there was one major area of growth - shoplifting. Whilst energy, manufacturing, the services sector, financi...

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Funny story: It's CRAP! Two Weeks After Taking Office Chicago Mayor Emanuel Announces City Casino, Slots in Airports & No Indians!

It's CRAP! Two Weeks After Taking Office Chicago Mayor Emanuel Announces City Casino, Slots in Airports & No Indians!

Former White House Chief of Staff, ballet dancer, Mossad Agent and potty mouthed politician Rahm Emanuel did what the former Daley Family, both father and son. couldn't accomplish in 46 years, return Chicago to the 1930's...in just two weeks! Elec...

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