Nottingham News for W/E: 29th April 2012

Funny story written by Inchcock

Sunday, 29 April 2012

image for Nottingham News for W/E: 29th April 2012
Thursday 26th April

Monday 23rd April 2012
Topic: Crime - Murder
"Nottingham murder police in plea to taxi drivers"
Source: BBC News
Extract Police investigating the murder of a teenager outside a pub in Nottingham have appealed for taxi drivers who were in the area to contact them.
Malakai McKenzie, 19, died from a gunshot wound following an attack outside the Hubb, on Hucknall Road, Sherwood, early on Saturday.
Detectives said they were following up new leads in their investigation.
A party was being held at the venue and police are urging people who attended to contact them.
Police were called to the pub at 03:30 BST on Saturday after reports that a firearm had been fired.
The teenager was taken to the Queen's Medical Centre with serious injuries but later died.
Officers have been reviewing CCTV footage and believe those responsible for his death escaped in a car which drove up Hucknall Road, and turned into Perry Road.
Det Ch Insp Tony Heydon said: "We know the Hubb was a busy venue on Friday night into Saturday morning with a party ongoing inside. "There are still people who left without giving their details to the police or telling us what they know. I would urge them for the sake of Malakai's family to come forward and help us find whoever did this to their loved one.

Update: Two men have been arrested over the death of Malakai McKenzie, who died from a gunshot wound in Sherwood on Saturday.
A 17-year-old youth and a 19-year-old man were arrested in Nottingham this morning and remain in police custody.

Comment: My humble residence is a few hundered yards to the North of this location.
It is a few hundred South of the Stage Hotel where someone was shot last week!
So, if I suddenly stop producing this sort of rubbish on the Spoof, it'll either be because me dodgy ticker has packed up, or I've been topped my one of the local gangs!

Monday 23rd April 2012
Topic: Crime - Armed robbery
"Gunman sought for three betting shop raids in Nottingham"
Source: BBC News
Extract: Three Armed robberies at betting shops in Nottingham are being linked by police.
Raids took place at Betfred, in Radford Road, on Saturday, and Ladbrokes shops in Ilkeston Road on Wednesday, and Radford Road on 7 April.
Detectives described a man they were looking for as black and aged between 20 and 30. He was carrying a black semi-automatic handgun.
Staff, who were not injured, handed over cash to the man who left on foot.
A second man is also being sought for the robbery at Ladbrokes in Radford Road.
Anyone with any information can contact Nottinghamshire Police anonymously.

Comment: At least these crimes were committed about half a mile away from my abode! Huh! what a life!

Tuesday 24th April 2012
Topic: Crime - Kidnap - Burglary
"Men jailed over Booker cash and carry kidnap robbery"
Source: BBC News
Extract: A man from Northamptonshire has been jailed for 13 years for kidnapping a cash and carry manager and robbing the premises where he worked. He was part of a gang of four men who dragged the victim into a car in Nottinghamshire and later forced him to open the Booker shop, in Grantham.
After cash and cigarettes were taken he was left in a Leicestershire field.
Nathan Pilsbury, 23, of Kingsheath, Northampton, was sentenced at Nottingham Crown Court on Friday. Pilsbury was found guilty of kidnap and robbery and sentenced to 13 years and six months.
Andra Hoyland, 28, of Broughton, Kettering pleaded guilty to kidnap and robbery and was sentenced to seven years and six months.
Richard Loveridge, 20, of Great Billing, Northampton, pleaded guilty to kidnap and robbery and detained for six years in a young offenders institute.
Martin McBrien, 26, of Little Billing, Northampton, pleaded guilty to kidnap and robbery and was sentenced to 10 years.

Comment: Well at least someone in Nottingham has been court, tried, and sentenced!

Wednesday 25th April 2012
Topic: Protesters removed from City Centre
"Occupy Nottingham protest comes to an end"
Source: This is Nottingham
Extract: Occupy Nottingham protesters camp, has left the Old Market Square after 190 days camped out in the city centre. Protesters set up camp on October 15 as part of a global movement campaigning on economic and environmental issues and fighting perceived inequality across the world.
But they said they could not afford to fight a legal battle with Nottingham City Council to stay on the site, which the protesters say could cost as much as £30,000.
Yesterday, members of the camp and council employees set about removing tents and fencing from the site into dustbin lorries.
Mr Jones said: "These past 190 days have been draining and we need time to regroup, come up with some fresh ideas and set about implementing those.

Comment: Well I miss talking to em as I hobble through the city centre!

Wednesday 25th April 2012
Topic: Crime - Armed robbery
"Armed robbery at Nottingham petrol station"
Source: This is Nottingham
Extract: A petrol station worker was attacked with a hammer during an armed robbery in Wilford this morning.
He was confronted by three men as he prepared to open the Silverdale petrol station in Clifton Lane at around 4.45am
He was hit over the head with a hammer and knocked unconscious.
The robbers made off with a large quantity of cigarettes.
The men, who wore dark clothing and hooded tops, made off on foot along Wilford Lane towards the Silverdale island.
The victim, 31, was taken to Nottingham's Queen's Medical Centre with minor head injuries, and has now been discharged.
Police are appealing to anyone who may have been driving or walking past the petrol station around the time of the robbery.

Comment: Another violent crime in Nottingham - I hope that folk realise what its going to be like when the Government takes away 280 police officers from Nottingham to police the London Olympics? Scary enough now!

Thursday 26th April 2012
Topic: Crime - Drugs
"£100k cannabis farm discovered in Nottingham"
Source: Nottingham Post
Extract: Almost 100 plants with a final total street value of around £100,000 were found in a dawn raid on a house in Trent Boulevard, Lady Bay, yesterday.
Officers found 29 mature plants locked in a room at the top of the three-storey house.
Another 68 older and early-stage plants were discovered in a second growing room and a drying room hidden behind a plasterboard wall in the cellar.
Sergeant Becky Hodgman, of West Bridgford Police Station, said: "It's happening all over the country now.
"On the internet you can find everything you need to know about how to set up and where to get the equipment from.
"If the public told us everything they knew then criminals wouldn't be able to function, so we encourage people to come forward with any information."
Police dismantled the farm after yesterday's raid, which followed a tip-off from a member of the public.
No-one was in the house at the time and no arrests have been made.

Comment: Anyone know which sites the info is on?

Friday 27th April 2012
Topic: Crime - Murder
"Sherwood shooting: 'Group gathered' prior to death"
Source: BBC News
Extract: The people responsible for the fatal shooting of a Nottingham teenager may have gathered 10 to 15 minutes before the attack, police have said.
Malakai McKenzie, 19, died in the early hours of Saturday, after being injured at The Hubb pub in Sherwood.
Police asked anyone who saw a group getting in and out of cars in the area at about 03:15 BST to contact them.
A 19-year-old man and 17-year-old boy, arrested in connection with the murder, have been released on bail.
Det Chf Insp Tony Heydon said: "We believe that more than one person was involved in Malakai's murder and we have a large team of detectives working to identify the suspects.

Comment: I noted on the day, the police had put 'Accident' signs up, instead of 'Police Incident' short of officers they have to use the traffic police in a murder investigation? Wait till we lose the 200 plus officers to police the London Olympics... what then? Use boy scouts?

Saturday 28th April 2012
Topic: Crime - Murder
"Murder investigation launched after two found dead in Nott's house"
Source: This is Nottingham
Extract: A Murder investigation has been launched after the bodies of two people were found in a West Bridgford house yesterday.
The bodies of a 64-year-old man and a 31-year-old woman were found just after 11am at the North Road property.
Said Detective Chief Inspector Kate Meynell: "A team of detectives are working on this inquiry in order to piece together the chain of events leading up to the deaths.
Anyone with any information is asked to contact Nottinghamshire Police on 101 or call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111

Comment: Bloody Nora - more deaths in Nottingham!

Sunday 29th April 2012
Topic: Crime - Murder - Update
"Nottingham deaths: Police confirm pair were shot"
Source: BBC News
Extract: Two people found dead at a house in Nottingham had been shot, police said.
A murder investigation was started after the 64-year-old man and 31-year-old woman were discovered in North Road in West Bridgford on Thursday morning.
Police have been examining possible links between the deaths and a woman who was found dead in the River Trent, near Colwick, on 15 April.
A post-mortem examination on the woman concluded she had drowned.
All three people have yet to be formally identified but police said they were not looking for anyone else in connection with the deaths.

Comment: Like lightning our Police!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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