Couple buy each other tickets for S Club Seven Reunion Tour
Loving couple with a comedy/sadistic streak Gary and Lorraine Johnson bought each other a pair of tickets to see the recently reformed S Club 7 reunion tour, only to realise that at the age of 51 and 49, they are probably too old for that type of thi…
Read full storyBrian had no Valentine Cards this year
Although it is expected, Brian Asshat did not receive any valentine's cards this year. Although the bachelor always keeps the postman busy and sends up to 25 of them a year, he is yet to receive one. 'It is a bit weird' said Tracy Brassingthwai…
Read full storyIndian Chief Sitting Bull's Great, Great, Great, Granddaughter Appears In The TV Western "Hell On Wheels"
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Word coming out of Tinsel Town, says that the tremendously popular hit TV Western, "Hell On Wheels" has signed the great, great, great granddaughter of Sioux Chief Sitting Bull, to appear on the Old West railroad show.
Read full story“Fact” Check: Greenpeace Never Existed
The environmental outlaws, Greenpeace, once the hot new thang in the 1980s, is no more. In fact, books are being cut into pieces to get rid of any mention of Greenpeace. A spokesperson for “OIL INK” has said, “The hippies are dead. We don’t need…
Read full storyWho’s Wants to Be My Baby Mama?
A Fox News disgraced reporter who got fired for developing a conscience has reported to the Alaska Church Bulletin, that: “Because the Republicans and their stacked Supreme Court overturned the abortion law, they need to counter all the negative D…
Read full storyCelebs Hot, News Not, Words Get Shorter
Yayahaoo News has reported that 90% of all news in “the near future” will become news about celebrities. Only. No more boring stories about fascist dictators, or who’s poisoning the environment, or who got assassinated by someone who has lots of m…
Read full storyA New Pfizter Variant Targets Comedy
A whistleblower who used to work for big-pharma giant Pfizter has told the US Weekly Medical News Picayune that all variants are created in the lab, and that some can be directed specifically towards certain types of people: “Like any egotistical…
Read full storySuper Bowl LVII MVP Player Patrick Mahomes To Star In His Autobiographical Movie "Hey Y'all, Injuries Ain't Shit."
KANSAS CITY - (Sports Satire) - Hollywood beckoned and the Super Bowl's MVP player, said, here I am y'all. Patrick Mahomes' business manager, has announced that Patrick has agreed to star as himself in the new autobiography film from Tri-Moon Pict…
Read full storyNo Oscar Means Will’s Gonna Bitch Slap Hollywood
The Hollywood News Wrap has revealed what a friend of a friend of Will Smith’s publicist said: “If Will doesn’t win an Oscar for his performance as a slave with all those whip marks on his back (Will needs to play a victim right now in his caree…
Read full storyHugh Grant Lost His Keys Due to a Variant
Mega-hunk, Hugh Grant, was driving his Maserati 4000 down the Ocean Highway in California, when he got out to enjoy the scenery of the Pacific Ocean and take some pics. But then left his keys in the ignition and the door was locked! Hugh told T…
Read full storyQuarterback Scores Touchdown in Lawyer Football
Les Moonvest, a quarterback for the Maine Otters, ran the wrong way, towards his own end zone, and still scored a touchdown! How did he do this? Coach Timmy Poole O’Toole has said, “First, the only thing keeping in his brain is his helmet – not…
Read full storyArchaeological Dig in North Korea Finds No Wheel
A rare moment in archaeology has occurred in North Korea. First, it was amazing that Kim Jong-Un even let in foreign scientists to study the prehistory of the top of the Korean peninsula, but then again, Kim’s dictatorship doesn’t exactly encoura…
Read full storyDr. Futuro - Russia Part of China and Britain Part of India - Life is Change
The famous British Futurologists was looking in his Futuroscope the other day - and he happen to view a computer map of the world Seventy years from now. (Paper maps are all extinct in the Future - as are Paper books and Paper money - but not t…
Read full storyFox news seeks new partnership with the department of energy
In news news, Fox News says Fox News is in search of a new agreement to replace the current one they have with the NRA. As the NRA has fallen into bankruptcy with its reputation in shambles, Fox News looks to make a side deal to get out while th…
Read full storyAmazon and Walmart are Dead - Buy Direct from China 1/3rd the Price - Temu-Temu!
Amazon and Walmart are on the way Out according to a CCN article. It is old fashioned to buy from these two companies - who have to ship their Goods all the way from China. You can now bypass them and order from the same companies they order…
Read full storyFurious petition calls for end to shark attacks
Following the death-by-shark of a teenage girl Sandgropers in their thousands have launched a petition demanding that attacks cease. Immediately. The hapless teen was jetskiing on the Swan River when she spotted a pod of dolphins and apparently de…
Read full storyWWE legend Goldberg laments Super Bowl halftime show didn’t include any country line dancing
Tulsa, Oklahoma native Bill Goldberg recently took exception to Rihanna’s Super Bowl 57 halftime performance by sharing on his “CarCast” podcast that he ‘was disgusted by it’. However, when pressed for further clarification as to what specifical…
Read full storyNFL quietly follows in MLB footsteps by introducing ghost referee rule
In deference to Major League Baseball’s effort to speed up extra-inning games and reduce the risk of injury to its athletes by instituting the so-called ghost runner rule, the National Football League has initiated a rules change permanently installi…
Read full storyThe Green Bay Packers Are Done With Aaron Rodgers!
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - (Sports Satire) - Well as most sports fans had an inkling, the Green Bay Packers organization has finally come to the conclusion that the team will be better off with Aaron Charles Rodgers, who turned 39, in December. Rodger…
Read full storyMadonna Balloons Up To 247 Pounds!
BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle told Anderson Cooper that one of the most arrogant, sarcastic, self-centered singers in the music business, Madonna Louise Ciccione, has ballooned up to 247 pounds in the nude…
Read full storyThe Hottest Female Porn Star In America To Appear As Stormy Daniels In a Motion Picture About Donald Trump
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily writer Valerie Vistawood interviewed porn film sensation, Pretzel Garibaldi, who informed her that she has just signed to appear in the Solar System Films production of "Trump - The Pathologically Pussy Grab…
Read full storyFat-Butt Trump - as a Gentleman - Won't Call Ron DeSantis 'Meatball Ron' Anymore
Trump is in a secret PR war with DeSantis for the 2024 presidential nomination. The Indian - American woman Nikki Haley also would like to be President. Apparently in private conversations Trump has reportedly called DeSantis 'Meatball Ron'…
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