NFL quietly follows in MLB footsteps by introducing ghost referee rule

Funny story written by dcomer

Sunday, 19 February 2023

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I call what I see - and I see everything!

In deference to Major League Baseball’s effort to speed up extra-inning games and reduce the risk of injury to its athletes by instituting the so-called ghost runner rule, the National Football League has initiated a rules change permanently installing new specially-designated referees (dressed as the grim reaper) whose only job is to make critical calls that will ultimately decide the outcomes of its most important contests.

Forget the athletes. Forget the stakes involved. Forget how friggin’ good the damn game was. As seen by a worldwide audience during Super Bowl 57, the NFL’s plan to put the focus back on the people calling the game instead of the ones actually playing in it became an immediate and phenomenal success.

Ask Carl Cheffers, Super Bowl 57 referee, how he felt about winning the game for the Zebras – “The receiver went to the inside and… we called defensive holding.” Then Mr. Cheffers proceeded to pull out his yellow flag, toss it a full fifteen yards and do an end zone dance.

Ask James Bradberry, Eagles player called for a very questionable holding penalty with 1:54 left to play, how he felt about the refs deciding the game – “I pulled on his jersey…” Then Mr. Bradberry and the rest of the players on both squads each went dejectedly to their appointed stadium referee reps and each kissed the ring.

Ask Roger Goodell, NFL commissioner, still licking his wounds over his poorly received ‘the NFL believes black lives matter’ statement – “I don’t think it’s ever been better…” Then Mr. Goodell could be seen mumbling and muttering to himself as he in fact attempted to convince himself that, yes, he don’t think it’s ever been better.

And there you have it. Major League Baseball. National Football League. Other pro sports to follow… Calm down. Referee on.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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