Following the death-by-shark of a teenage girl Sandgropers in their thousands have launched a petition demanding that attacks cease. Immediately.
The hapless teen was jetskiing on the Swan River when she spotted a pod of dolphins and apparently decided to join them fir a fun time.
Unfortunately, a Bull Shark which was cruising nearby saw her dive into the water and, hunger aggravating its usually-placid nature, decided to have an early meal.
In response, more than 12 000 concerned West Aussies signed the petition circulated in less that a day after the tragedy, calling for these ferocious attacks to cease at once
One signatory, Matt Dryfude, said, "I know it's been fifty years since the last shark attack, and 100 since the last shark dinner, but this is really outrageous. It has to stop."
At the time of writing, the Bull Shark Union had not yet responded to the petition. The Spoof believes the likely response will mimic that produced after the last death-by-shark 100 years ago.
"This is our environment," had said Bull Shark Union President, Don Ripper, "and if people want to swim in the river they should consider themselves top item on the menu. Frankly, I and my brothers and sisters are totally sick of eating krill, prawns and seaweed!"
The Spoof will keep readers updated.
