Way Too Late: Empty Folders Found At Mar-a-Lago
Ayeeee, the horror, the horror! The FBI found a series of empty folders in Trump’s basement. What could this mean? First guess: The stuff inside the folders was sold to the highest bidders. Second guess: The stuff was piggy-backed into ot…
Read full storyWhaddaya Know, Evil Joe?
I gotta admit, that pic looks scary. (Granted: Halloween is coming.) Joe Biden is really giving ammunition to his haters by standing in front of black and red, with a couple Marines in the back – though they look like wee tin soldiers, so they’re not…
Read full storyBritish Protest and A Wee Cuppa
In Britain, some polite people super glued themselves together after walking calmly into Parliament to protest, stating their demands in quiet words. There are no guns, spraypaint, stink bombs, loose skunks, MAGA anything, Nazi flags or other hatred…
Read full storyStop Hurting Trump RIGHT NOW You Big Meanies!
Why won’t people stop hurting Donald Trump? Words hurt, you know! When you call him all the names which may or may not be applicable, Donald doesn’t want to hear them! He’s a good guy – you’re the bad ones attacking him. Say nice things or he’ll…
Read full storyTrump’s Garage Sale Of Top Secret Documents At Mar-a-Lago
They say he never read or stayed awake for security briefings, finding that security briefings interrupted his television, eating, and nap time. So why would the Pussy Grabber have a sudden interest in Top Secret Classified Documents on his way out o…
Read full storyWater Walkers & The Surfin’ Pope!
Water levels are rising all over the world (because all the world is attached by water), and people are scared they may have to swim to work in the future. But not to worry, good Catholics all around the world (cuz Catholicism tried to create the…
Read full storyBritish Troops With The The 707th Queen's Elite Infantry Regiment Soundly Defeated Russian Troops At The Battle of Dinipro
TWICKENHAM, England - (UK Satire) - Twickenham Times Telegram reporter Tango Brisket has just proclaimed that the 707th Queen's Elite Infantry Regiment has defeated one of Russia's top regiments The 19th Infantry Regiment, which is headquartered in M…
Read full storyPresident Biden Says That Trump The Traitor Will Go To Prison For 41 Years With No Fucking Chance of Parole
WASHINGTON, D.C. (Satire News) - POTUS was asked what the chances of Trump not going to Prison are. The president laughed and he said that Whoopi Goldberg has a better chance of marrying handsome actor Idris Elba than the nasty-looking Trumpturd h…
Read full storyAround Britain in a Bus, with Liz Truss
Hello, Liz Truss here. You know, your future, and last Prime Minister. The one who could have been anything, but became Prime Minister. I could have been the dinner lady who scarred school children for years, now I will just scare the whole world.
Read full storyThe Buckingham Palace Doctor Says That The Queen's Recent Fall May Necessitate Her Getting a Full Hysterectomy
LONDON - (UK Satire) - The queen was recently treated for injuries she sustained when she fell off her horse during a recent fox hunt at Windsor Castle. At first the official Buckingham Palace physician Dr. Winthrop Pillfello, stated that the quee…
Read full storyThe Reason Why Tom and Gisele Brady Are Fighting Like Cats and Dogs
TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Sports Satire) - Reports filtering out of the Brady Bunch Mansion, Casa Inflated Balls, is that Tom and his hot-headed, firecracker Brazilian wife Gisele, have been fighting like the legendary West Virginia feuders, the Hatfield…
Read full storyNo Honest, Decent Attorney In America Will Come Anywhere Near Trump The Traitor
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The man with the thousand nicknames, (Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump) has finally come to the realization that the American people (GOPers) will no longer be fooled by the carnival barking, flim flam man. Like several lead…
Read full storyBezos-Musk Inc. Wants To Buy The Dallas Cowboys
AUSTIN, Texas - (Sports Satire) - The world's largest corporation wants to purchase the world's most popular and most profitable sports team. Bezos-Musk Inc. told Sports Bet Gazette writer Zorro La Bamba that they have approached Cowboys owner Jer…
Read full storySchool child to learn ritual humiliation
Four-year-old Oliver Thompson is set to learn ritual humiliation when his mother Sandra posts photos of him all over social media on his first day at school. 'Yes, I have it all planned out.' said Sandra 'It is overwhelming for anyone to start any…
Read full storyHouse Arrest Only for the Best
Aung San Suu Kyi, who has been under arrest since 1904 in Myanmar, has just got a few more years added to her sentence – plus hard labour – by the military junta that rules that shithole country. Oh, it was nice, once. But when a military takes ov…
Read full storyIndia Floats a Boat to Catch Evil Whales
Well, India is as happy as a telemarketer not getting hung up on. They built an aircraft carrier! Wee! Some Indians are proud that they now have a big boat to fight their enemies. Lots of enemies in Indian waters, are there? Is the ship named the…
Read full storyPresident Biden Says That Trump Must Return The $4.8 Million In Stimulus Checks That He Illegally Gave Himself While He Occupied The White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The FBI has just informed President Biden that they have uncovered more of the Trumpturd's illegal shenanigans. It now appears that the Orange Piece of Shit, as Rudy "The Swamp Creature" Giuliani now refers to Tr…
Read full storyWorld has enough Mock the Week Repeats
Although it was announced a while ago, the BBC will not be filming any more episodes of Mock the Week, having decided that the tired format has had its day, and will rest for a while, until like Never Mind the Buzzcocks it is resurrected, to bring a…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth's Intimate Tattoo Is Revealed
LONDON - (UK News) - After five decades, her majesty's intimate tattoo has finally been revealed. Tickety Boo News writer Grover Buck broke the story, which he says has been verified by the queen's BFF, Piers Morgan. Buck made it known that QE got…
Read full storyA Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Talks Candidly About The Charges That She's A Russian KGB Spy
DALLAS - (Sports Satire) - Candace "Candy" Nippovich, has been cheering for the Dallas Cowboys for two years. Her boss Cowboys owner Jerry Jones recently told Sportapalooza Sports writer Pia Confetti, that not only is she one of the prettiest and…
Read full storyGreg Wallace's guide to being enthusiastic
HELLO GREG WALLACE HERE. THAT BLOKE FROM THE TELLY. THE ONE WHO SHOUTS ALL OF THE TIME. Anyway, now I have your attention, would you like to be as enthusiastic as I am? WOULD YOU? Well, I know that you would. For me, it is a natural part…
Read full storyBoris Johnson's farewell tour consists of all of the old hits
Gosh Crikey Phwoar Some old Latin nonsense. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't a party because no one was having a good time. I am such a lightweight. Zip-wire, zip-wire Encores Hiding in a Fringe I say, that Dominic Cummings, he's a bit of…
Read full storyPost Office Conversation enters 14th minute
After just going in to buy some stamps, and to post a letter Muriel Halfpenny has been stuck in a conversation with Sandra from two doors down for 14 minutes. 'It was a nightmare' said Muriel 'Sandra and I have nothing in common. We had a bit of a…
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