TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Sports Satire) - Reports filtering out of the Brady Bunch Mansion, Casa Inflated Balls, is that Tom and his hot-headed, firecracker Brazilian wife Gisele, have been fighting like the legendary West Virginia feuders, the Hatfields and McCoys.
Info guru Andy Cohen has revealed that the trouble started when "Tom Terrific" was rumored to have felt up one of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Her name will not be revealed since it is believed that she's married.
Tom adamantly is denying the rumor by saying that he does not know, nor has he ever met Eleanor Quillacy, 24. (Oops y'all!)
The 45-year-old Brady said that if simply telling one of the Buc's cheerleaders that she has a nice-looking ass, and then ever so gently feeling her up constitutes an affair, then the very definition of an affair needs to be revisited and definitely fucking changed.
Meanwhile, the firey Gisele told one of her uncles, that if she ever catches Tommy and that hot, sexy horny, Scottish bitch (Eleanor) she will instantly neuter the both of them with her Jim Bowie Commemorative knife.