School child to learn ritual humiliation

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 2 September 2022

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But, but where can I watch Hugh Dennis's Dinosaur impressions now?

Four-year-old Oliver Thompson is set to learn ritual humiliation when his mother Sandra posts photos of him all over social media on his first day at school.

'Yes, I have it all planned out.' said Sandra 'It is overwhelming for anyone to start anything new, but I thought Oliver can stand all of the jibes he will get from the kids, from the teachers

Oliver was nowhere to be found when Sandra went looking for him.
Oliver's 14-year-old sister Angela said 'I wanted to save Oliver from some of the ritual humiliation I went through. Once a post is up on Facebook, it is there forever. I don't want Oliver's friends, potential girlfriends or future employees to see him on his first day at school. What type of sister would that make me?'

Oliver's dad, Michael had taken him to school before Sandra had her camera out.

'I will have some explaining to do later' said Michael, 'but I feel I have saved the family a fair amount in therapy bills later on.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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