New law makes saying such and such is the new such and such a slappable offense
Congress is finally getting down to business and taking on some of the critical issues citizens face in their daily lives. The latest piece of legislation passed just this afternoon is aimed at stopping the constant droning of silly people who feel i…
Read full storyCoco Gauff Makes Accordion Out Of Tennis Racket At French Open
After watching a near-winning set of 7 to 6 at about 3 in the morning, US time, Coco Gauff could not score a point in the next set. So, what’s a tennis player to do? She took out her frustration on her tennis racket, pounding it into the red clay of…
Read full storyVice-President Kamala Harris Says That The Turncoat, Traitor Senator Joe Manchin Needs To Stop Acting Like a Pu$$y and Resign
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News is reporting that Vice-President Harris has more cojones than Joe Manchin, Mitch McConnell, Matt Gaetz, and Kevin McCarthy combined. Nancy Pelosi and Ricky Gervais totally agree with that statemen…
Read full storyRecent Sex Studies On Adult Females Show That 69% of All American Women Now Have a Landing Strip
SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – The adult publication Better & Longer Orgasms has just revealed that recent studies show that 69% of all women living in the United States now have a pubic region landing strip. Olga Hickerstick, 37, who is the…
Read full storyThe 2021 Cicada Invasion Grounds Air Force One, Cancels Baseball Games, and Shuts Down Fast Food Drive-Thru’s
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The U.S. Department of the Interior has just announced that the 2021 Cicada Invasion is causing all types of major havoc all over the country. According to renowned cicada expert Dr. Elton F. Dunpico, professor a…
Read full storyPresident Putin Warns That Anyone Caught Not Wearing a Mask Could Be Shot on The Spot
MOSCOW, Russia – (World News) – The government of Russia has issued a statement which states that anyone caught without a medical mask could risk being shot on sight. The Kremlin Voice stated that President Vladimir Putin is fed up and will no lon…
Read full storyTrump thwarted multiple sexual advances by pillow guy Mike Lindell
Pillow Guy Mike Lindell has had a few problems as of late, mostly legal and personal in nature it seems. The latest of his problems to come to light is he seems to have a physical attraction to former president Donald J. Trump. An observer close t…
Read full storyFBI Agents Raid Matt Gaetz' Residence And They’re Shocked At What They Found Underneath His Bed
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Vox Populi News Agency has confirmed that an early morning raid took place at the double-wide trailer of Congressman Matt “The Dirty Old Man” Gaetz. Gaetz who has been charged with everything from jay walking…
Read full storyDylan Thomas, Welsh great poet, once visited Jaggedone's distorted cerebral cortex, and left a 'pea' of a poem in it!
UFO's, not the type ex-Man United footy player, Chris Smalling, observed landing in his teapot, but in the Mad Hatter's, also frequent the balding head of infamous spoofer, Jaggedone. Mysteries of the poet's minds are sometimes unraveled there, an…
Read full storyThe latest fashion for style and safety; it’s the body condom!
The newest style craze sweeping across Europe has now hit the United States! You might say the full body condom is a style born out of necessity to suit our current social climate. While the style is certainly practical it surely gives fashion consci…
Read full storyMassachusetts Is The First State To Ban Nipple Rings
BOSTON – (Satire News) – After years and years, the senators of the Bay State have finally paid attention to the state’s leading gynecologists. With a vote of 71-29, the state’s rulers have passed a bill that will ban all nipple rings. Boston g…
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