A user of fake tan, and rider of helicopters, Donald Trump, has started his own Social Network, having been kicked off all of the other ones.
Fiends Reunited will, in Trump's words, be the best one there is. 'Yes, I have the best of everything. The best words, the best wives, the best children, the best hands, the best golf game, and so I have to have the best social network. We will be choosy about who we let on there, so only people who have sworn allegiance to me, Stalin or Lenin, and that other bloke from Russia.'
Fiends Reunited is not expected to be popular, and like all of Donald Trump's previous businesses, it will fail after two years, with debts and numerous court cases following it.