Man Keeps Getting Stared At For 'No Reason'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 11 January 2021

image for Man Keeps Getting Stared At For 'No Reason'
Mr. Kaye at the dole office

It's no fun when someone feels they are attracting unwanted attention from others, particularly if the object of those attentions is a sensitive person.

Add to that a perception that the unwanted attention appears to be of a negative nature, and there might be a problem for its focus.

But that's exactly what has been happening every fortnight down at the dole office in Oaf-on-Sea, East Yorkshire, when Unemployment Benefit claimant Lee Harvey-Oswald signs on there.

Mr. Harvey-Oswald has mentioned to his friend, Myke Woodson, that, as soon as his name is called by the receptionist, all eyes in the room turn to look at him, and stare in his direction until he leaves the building.

Said Woodson:

"He doesn't understand it, and feels totally intimidated about it. He is a straight-up character, polite, well-mannered, withdrawn, one might even say 'a loner', and he certainly keeps himself to himself. There's really no reason for anyone to give him the evil eye, but they do."

But, according to staff at the office, Mr. Harvey-Oswald isn't alone. Others have reported feeling intimidated after suffering various degrees of verbal abuse there.

Arnold Todd, Ronnie Crapper, Edward Youbend, Dick Strappon and 21-year-old Jack Chithouse have all asked staff if they could just report to the desk without having their names called, but staff have insisted there are rules that must be adhered to.

"There are rules that must be adhered to," insisted clerical officer, Jeff Kaye.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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